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My first SCP is over three months. I feel kinda rusty at this, but I figure the only way to get back into the groove is to dive right in.
A big thank-you to everyone who looked over this one, especially Accelerando and Aelanna, who pointed out what needed fixing.
Accompanying SCP soundtrack: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cS2DqJj_HDQ
Both images made by me.
Discover more over-the-top strangeness in
~PeppersGhost's Gallery of Illusion!~
I don't know whether to hug you or freak out.
This SCP has made such an impact on my life both good and bad.
Please keep up the good work. I'm sure you will.
I would love to talk sometime but I understand if you don't want to.
I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. It's never my intention.
I saw this one in the forums and I loved it. It was fucking bizarre.
Welcome back, PeppersGhost. I'm a huge fan of SCP-666.5-J and SCP-1861, and I look forward to seeing what else you can do.
I noticed syntax/grammatical errors throughout this thing. I can point them out to you, or, with your permission, go in and correct them.
Alright, I fixed all the minor stuff that I noticed. Great article by the way.
+1
Bobble the Clown met the Third Party. They got along.
Nicely done. Anomalous broadcasts are a favorite of mine, so I admit some critical latitude might have been given, but overall the segments were so disturbingly weird that I felt compelled to upvote. The fact that the show keeps up with evolving video distribution technology is a nice touch. I especially like the "Tracheotomies" one, which is apparently a live-action Cyriak animation.
I do have one issue. This:
Good night! And laugh! And laugh! Just laugh! Make more laugh for laughter. Laugh with us. Laugh with us. (Studio audience joins in unison) Laugh with us. Laugh with us. We hunger. We hunger.
The mangled-English title made me think the host was someone/something that kind of spoke English, which for whatever reason increased the creepiness of this, so when he shows up speaking normally, it was a bit of a disappointment for me. More of a problem, though, is that the piece depends on the conceit that everyone involved is inexplicably playing along in the spirit of normal light-hearted fun, whereas this bit is more menacing "ooga-booga" directly threatening type stuff. It's also coming across as a little silly, given the effectiveness of the rest of the piece.
Still though, upvoted.
The idea is that the entity is capable of maintaining a convincing human facade, but only for short periods of time. That's why it's speech patterns quickly turn repetitive and incoherent toward the end, eventually giving way to its primal hive mind.
Understood, though the last lines are still a little too goofy grimdark for me.
Maybe if it switched back to presenter-talk afterward.
We love the make laugh. Make more for laughter so as to for laugh. Laugh with us. Laugh with us. (Studio audience joins in unison) Laugh with us! Laugh with us. We hunger. We hunger! Laugh! Laugh laugh! Laugh!
I like the mangled speech, but I'm going to add my voice to the people saying that the "we hunger" line is silly and really weakens the piece. It doesn't make sense in-universe either; I doubt this thing would have a notion of "hunger" as something distinct from laughter.
I'm also not really seeing much of a connection to the puppy killer. I mean, I guess they're both designed to be funny in a horrible kind of way, but the puppy killer is very human in its sensibility. This… isn't.
Also, I fixed a minor typo in the Thatcher section.
I also found there to be a tonal disconnect between the language used in the sign-off message, the show description, and the rest of the piece. The episode descriptions are gloriously bizarre (Thatcher was particularly unsettling), the conceit is compelling (anomalous broadcast), but this "fun" language is just out of place. If the intended effect is to convince the reader that the things responsible are inhuman, well, that's abundantly clear from the broadcast content. The altered language just creates a spike in silliness where one isn't really appropriate, especially since the host seems perfectly capable of normal speech.
As said above:
Still though, upvoted.
I noticed you wrote a lot of the documentation with the Foundation seeming to have absolute knowledge of the thing. For example:
it mimics art from other television series, allowing it to attract more viewers mistaking it for another program.
Maybe if it read as a researcher's speculation rather than an outright fact.
only seen from the neck down, making identification impossible
Does it make it impossible?
The general consensus among researchers assigned to SCP-2030 is that victims are likely abducted after their use in the show, with their disappearances covered up when possible through the use of an anomalous disinformation distribution agent.
I don't see what this does for the article. It says a bit too much and now I'm wondering where they got to the conclusion of anomalous disinformation distribution agent. It's a speculation about a speculation.
We hunger. We hunger.
I thought the addendum was enough, this is extremely cliched. Definitely not an "I SEE YOU" that might make me feel like I'm involved. Not quite a stinger.
But this gets a +1 because I would keep reading if this was the first article I saw and the fantastic imagery in the addendum.
Firstly, oh man is it ever good to see you again!
Secondly, the lead up is amazing, but what it llead to was at best awkward. We hunger is a bit too telling. Otherwise this is good stuff and I'm glad to see you again!
Living the dream, or dreaming the life?
So I really, really like this one. It was toeing the line of "random for randomness sake" throughout, but when I finished I realized I had thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience. The last box really does a good job of drawing it all together, even if the end of it breaks character slightly. This is the kind of article that does horror comedy without doing comedy horror; you laugh because it's funny, but it doesn't feel like you should be laughing. All in all, it leaves you feeling uneasy and uncomfortable, which was no doubt the objective.
An easy +1 for me.
(account deleted)
