This is my first SCP!
Special thanks to weizhong, Leahfy, Bryx, Riemann, and…um…everyone else in the chat/on the forums/on the subreddit who gave feedback.
Changelog:
-v2-
-removed note B
SCP-2655 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-2655.
I kinda like it. Raises some good questions, like who is making those numbers. This is quite nice for your first.
And if the whole world is crashing down… fall through space out of mind with me.
First thing I noticed is that I was somewhat confused by the dates. At times I thought it started discussing something occurring in the past before transitioning back to the present tense. By the end of the article I had figured it out, but during the reading I was confused. Just something to note.
Also, in the second you have it starting with Dr. Kolibri and then ending with Dr. Kolibri. I recommend removing the first iteration.
Final note: is the SCP itself subject to the debilitating effects of the radiation, and that is what kills it? Or does it just keep producing radiation that has no effect on itself until it dies of old age?
In all, I like the article, but I think it could use some touch ups.
Note B seems a little silly. It's pretty obvious to the reader where this is going, so note B seems a bit excessively blind.
I have to concur with Anaxagoras on this one. Note B doesn't really do that much for the article.
Also, I would advise fully blanking out the name of Jack Blackbox. It doesn't seem like the Foundation would record his name and use it, especially after he becomes the new SCP.
I like it. Short, sweet, and pretty interesting. Note B was a little strange though. Why did you have Dr. Kolibri sign his name twice in one note?
By accident, that's why :P
As per request, note B is completely gone now.
Well when I get home, it will be. Mobile and wiki editing don't mix.
Very interesting article, and quite well executed. Good job. +1
This is really your first? I'm impressed! You have my vote. And my sword. And my axe.
A lot of the wording is bothering me:
- What's with the cell measurements?
- "termination" refers to an intentional severance of employment (or life). If something dies of natural causes, it simply dies. It isn't terminated.
- Similarly, the use of "has been neutralized" is awkward. We would usually say that "SCP-2655 has died, and been declared Neutralized" (note capitalization of object subclass).
- This is a case where you really should have been using subobject notation: the frog should be SCP-2655-1, Jack should be SCP-2655-2, and the infected researcher should be SCP-2655-3. Or whatever.
- "SCP-2655's Neutralized status is revoked, and containment is reaffirmed" should probably be "SCP-2655's Neutralized status has been rescinded and its containment procedures have been reinstated".
/forum/t-858963/scp-2655#post-
page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
