This is my rewrite of SCP-240 "Breath-Powered Flying Machine" originally written by SpoonOfEvil. I'll have the screenshots uploaded as soon as I have access to my tablet.
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!
SCP-240 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-240.
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!
Full Licensing Information:
The image that was used in this article has been replaced with the following image, which is cc-compliant with the SCP wiki's license (CC BY-SA 3.0):
Source: Wikimedia Commons
License: Public Domain
Title: Number 4. (My Airships p161).png
Author: Alberto Santos-Dumont
Release year: 1904
Mm Mm Good
No vote for now. Was gonna upvote until the solar system bit. That's just out of left field and feels like weirdness for weirdness' sake. Detracts from the article, IMO.
Downvote until it's gone.
That's there to establish that this is another world, and is the basis for the objects ability to do different speeds.
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!
I understand that. It still doesn't change my opinion of it seemingly being put in without rhyme or reason.
There are better ways to show that something is from a different world/reality than by shoving a solar system into the object; Alexyvia University skips tend to do it well.
Anyway, that's all my opinion. Not like my downvote alone is an indicator of how the community at large feels, or that this article won't do well.
I liked it enough to upvote, but that addendum really is kind of jarring for me. There must be a more subtle way to indicate extra-universal presence than "Hey, there's a solar system making this thing go. Come take a picture." Those hints in the dust barrels and the mouthpiece are almost enough. Maybe just a few more of them.
That said, I can't help but be curious about how the hell these people made a flying machine that runs on universe-power. The tale possibilities of this version are a large part of what's keeping this from a neutral vote.
Mmm… it's better than it was, but there still isn't a whole lot there. Not sure if you could make it much better; the concept isn't particularly interesting to me. I guess you could maybe flesh the "space" part out a bit?
(account deleted)This feels like the same article with GoIs shoehorned in to generate interest. I also echo the comments above about the addendum; that is waaaaaaay too short to do anything but make the reader go "huh?".
About the "bootlegging" thing. Firstly, that's an informal term that probably wouldn't show up in a scientific document. Secondly, you don't get charged formally with "bootlegging". Thirdly, bootlegging refers to the illegal smuggling and transport of alcohol, not its illicit manufacture, which is what I think you're meaning to refer to there.
I agree with Kalinin and dankaar and such say. This seemed to me like just a tonally-fixed version of the old one, then with the random ALTERNATE UNIVERSE SOLAR SYSTEM insinuation at the end. Also "UIU" is mentioned a lot and not described in any way so I have no fucking idea what UIU even is
The UIU, or "Unusual Incidents Unit" is the American government's rather ineffective FBI branch regarding anomalies.
I liked it and was about to upvote it until I reached the addendum. I'm sorry, but that miniature solar system just seemed like it was thrown in for the hell of it. But the rest of it was alright I thought.
Writing is good except for one part:
It produces dust emissions within the barrels. These emissions contain minerals such as nickel, copper, gold, platinum, potassic feldspar, and Pyroxferroite.
It seems like these two sentences could be combined. Would sound/read better if they were.
I agree about the writing and the extra dimensions yet thought it still deserved my upvote.
One more thing that bugged me though:
fiber optic camera technology
That doesn't really mean anything. Fiber optics relates to wiring and information transfer, with very little to do with cameras. Unless there is a meaning I am not recognizing, this could be simplified to "using ranged cameras", or removal of the whole solar system bit.
By the way, has anyone else thought of what could happen if the "exhaust pipes" were directed back into the mouth piece? It would be a literally exponential growth of energy and the foundation for a perpetual motion device! Are there any other SCPs that have or could have been used this way?
(Also yes, I know that I'm a little late to the party on this discussion, wanted to say something anyways)
/forum/t-855352/scp-240#post-
page revision: 1, last edited: 02 Apr 2021 15:16
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