I really want to like it. It's an interesting story, but it's a little too purple for me. Maybe I'm just tired and don't want to wade through the prose, but it seems like many of the passages don't do much to advance the story.
(account deleted)Neutral vote. There's a lot of stylistic flourish and heavy use of imagery, which doesn't quite go into the territory of smoke-and-mirrors fuckery that would make me downvote. However, that's a lot of stuff out of the 'ol bag of tricks to use for something as brief as the actual story being told here.
On a line-by-line basis, I found it interesting, but there has to be a sense of the whole when writing the piece that I find lacking here.
That's gotta be a record timespan from posting to feature. :O Good job!
Wow, this probably got the "youngest article to
get featured" record.
'Twas a contest reward, otherwise it would have been automatically disqualified based on age.
(Although, of course, we believe it was good enough to be featured, or we would have vetoed it!)
