My first SCP in a long time, the Chaos Pump. I had it in mind originally for the SCP-2000 contest, but it wasn't ready to play.
Hope you like it.
SCP-2068 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-2068.
It's a biological computer housed in an oil pump that attempts to draw in resources and reproduce.
Nice escalation, charmingly old-school, leaves enough to the imagination. I like it.
if your reading this your gay
Thanks, Scanny. I might see about using this as a lead in for the way I think the CI should play. They are seriously in need of a vision.
I feel like the first sentence of the description shouldn't be about where it was housed, but instead what it is. "SCP-2068 is a biological computer of unknown origin blah blah blah."
The containment procedures really drew me in, so when I got the description and was confused about what precisely this thing was, it sort of crashed the article for me. Neutral vote for now.
Mmmm… Okay, I can see that. Rephrased the first sentence, so that the Reciprocal Pump is the SCP, since it is basically the thing's exoskeleton. The clam shell is still part of the clam, after all, even though it's not alive itself.
I like the fact you changed the sentence, but I still think the description still lacks clarity. If this thing can infect people and make them into its drones, that would be made Exceptionally clear immediately. These reports serve as warnings to the people interacting with these things so as to keep personnel safe and the object contained. I would have opened the description with "SCP-2068 is a biological computer capable of infecting individuals and converting them into all sorts of dangerous business etc, etc, omg look out!" You wouldn't want to mince words with something like this, you know? That's why warning labels tend to be right to the point. "High Voltage," not "It is surmised that this object can transfer electrons to any object that comes in contact with it." I understand you were building up the story, but I think the addendums really pack enough of a punch to be a lot more straightforward to begin with.
Look at it this way: The Foundation doesn't know what this thing is, exactly. They know it's alive, has biological output, and it's contagious and does horrible things to people in what appears to be a desire to reproduce. What they don't know is what or how it is eating, whether it's intelligent, what its motives are, if any, or anything other that whatever it is, it's alive, in a oil pump, has biological components, and appears to have been manufactured.
I suggested to Aelanna some tags for it, which might help from a story-telling view, but to the Foundation, this thing is a mystery… and that's on purpose because it's an underlying tenet to the story. Because if the Foundation knew what it was, they'd destroy it utterly.
Most likely… because the Foundation are the Hoarders of the supernatural world here.
At first I had no idea what it was. I got it was a pump or a computer or something at best but after carefully rereading the article…I got it
It did scare me though and I almost lost my lunch at the memetic effect so to speak. +1
Former CI Wiki Administrator Now just CI Wiki member: | Tuum Est: It's up to you
I feel like something is missing, maybe what this thing does to people, or how it does it. That note from Doctor Blackbox could probably stand to be stated in a more clinical tone, rather than a personal observation. And what's with all the "shall"s?
I added a collapsible for the autopsy and vivisection reports. I may add more information, although I am reluctant to remove all of the mystery of the artifact.
The catch is that the Foundation is reacting to the device, and there are reasons for that. I'm hoping that I can keep this article from the viewpoint of the Foundation, so as not to "spoil" it, but I may need to add in one other thing to seal it. It's a challenge, I think, since I suspect my problem is that I'm not being candid enough.
This may just be one that not everyone is going to get, alas. Or not everyone will like, even when they get it.
I feel like I'm missing something here: the thing's purpose.
So it's a biological computer hosting a series of biological nanomachines which can then convert organic matter into other substances (and through this, somehow control people). It appears to be sapient, given its strong attempts to breach containment.
Why is it doing all of this? What does it think it should be doing? Why does ammonia help keep it contained?
One final note is that I don't like the crossing out in the containment procedures. I get that it's become more dangerous, but there should be a better way to do this.
No vote for now, but I'll be watching.
The ammonia question is actually a pretty simple one. It burns, and as noted, fire and heat break down 2068-1. The ammonia is leftover from treating the nitrogen atmosphere, so it's another means to destroy any potential taint.
Now, why is it doing all of this? There is actually a very good reason behind it, but it's not obvious. The SCP is written from the Foundation's viewpoint, and honestly they are just as baffled to its motive as most anyone would be.
You may assume that is rather the point, from the Chaos Pump's point of view.
Thanks for reading and questioning!
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page revision: 1, last edited: 02 Apr 2021 15:16
