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+1
I like it but the description DEFINITELY needs some work. Coming in, not know what this is at all, it goes from reading like that it's a liquid entity to stating that you would apply it to a person. You would not apply liquid entity to a person! You need to indicate in the first paragraph that this is a tatoo thing of some kind. I didn't even catch that until the tatoo parlor piece.
I almost neutral voted but decided to upvote because the end gave me a general good impression.
I haven't even started to read the description, but have a slight issue with this: I'm getting tired of D's not getting proper security measures just because they are D's. I'm not a newbie saying D's should have human rights in-universe, but humans don't grow in trees. And I bet a couple of extra Hazmat suits are more reliable than getting new D's everytime. Seriously, Hazmat suits are as expendable as surgeon gloves. Are you really telling those are harder to obtain than living humans?
I was liking it until I got to the interview log. It didn't really add anything for me, and the dialog felt a little bit cliche.
Also, it's either amnesiac or amnestic (the proper scientific term) or maybe amnesic (the proper spelling according to my spellchecker) but not amnesiatic.
Thanks, changing the amnestic name. Also, gotten mixed responses on the interview so I'm leaving it there.
Yeah, I liked the interview log. I thought the dialogue was very realistic and well-written. Although I admit the idea the idea of it knowing secret info is a bit cliche, I like how you handled it. You ONLY redacted the one name, and gave us a neat little insight into what happens during a low level breech.
On the plus side, I just checked on the figures for the magnetic field, and 60k Gauss is 6 teslas, or about twice as strong as a good solid MRI, so the researchers would probably not suffer any ill effects to short-term exposure to such a field. Good thing the skip doesn't know anything about human physiology, or it would have known the threat to activate the field and leave it on with a human in the room was just a bluff…
I did a lot of research on magnetic fields before writing, what is and is not safe around humans and what not.
I went for 60,000 G because it's a powerful amount but not anything that's likely to put human beings are risk. Granted, it'd not be a wise idea to have a picnic under a field that strong.
all areas containing samples of SCP-1664 will be exposed to an electromagnetic field of 60,000 G until a stable containment state has been achieved.
That is one hell of a strong magnetic field. That's 12 times the strength of Earth's field, and like Deacon pointed out above, it's at least twice as strong as an average MRI, and closer to 3 times the strength. When you're talking about the equivalent of a room sized MRI (there's a reason why MRI machines are so small, because they need to be on a constant "stand-by" state to generate that magnetic field), that's also 3 times the strength, you're stretching into some ridiculous areas. The surveillance camera in there, and the PA system that let's you talk to the skip inside probably have some sort of magnetic compound, which would be utterly fried by this many Gauss, not to mention the fact that any credit cards or computers would be utterly wiped due to the strength of this thing.
SCP-1664 consumes iron and materials possessing traces of iron via osmosis.
That's not how osmosis works. Osmosis is the movement of water due to relative pressure/concentration differences across a membrane. Iron can't move across most membranes because it's very large, on a cellular scale.
rebuild damaged mass,
Liquids don't rebuild damaged mass. You can't create mass out of nowhere.
Short term exposure (under 24 hours)
The cost of this would be insane. Going back to the MRI example, they're expensive to run. Over 24 hours? Hospitals obviously have some sort of markup so they can pay the technicians running the thing, but an MRI for just an hour can cost upwards of $5000, for an uninsured patient. Since you're trying to generate a magnetic field big enough for a whole room, the cost just keeps going up to ridiculous amounts.
The whole interview log to me reads as somewhat cliche. Also, it's unlikely that the researcher could simply flip a switch on and off to turn on/off the magnetic field generator. Those things take time to warm up. It kinda breaks the flow to have them awkwardly wait around for the machine to turn on, but it'd be more accurate, and take less of a logic gap.
FINAL CONCLUSION:
The writing itself is mostly good, and I like the idea. However, there are some serious gaps in logic/knowledge of science that need to be addressed. Some liberties with science are obviously okay (we are talking about science fiction after all), but these moments just broke the flow of the whole article for me. Maybe it's just my inner science geek that's being a picky bastard about it, but I just couldn't upvote it with the current status.
UPDATE:
Made some changes based on this feedback.
Thanks for your feedback!
That is one hell of a strong magnetic field. That's 12 times the strength of Earth's field, and like Deacon pointed out above, it's at least twice as strong as an average MRI, and closer to 3 times the strength. When you're talking about the equivalent of a room sized MRI (there's a reason why MRI machines are so small, because they need to be on a constant "stand-by" state to generate that magnetic field), that's also 3 times the strength, you're stretching into some ridiculous areas. The surveillance camera in there, and the PA system that let's you talk to the skip inside probably have some sort of magnetic compound, which would be utterly fried by this many Gauss, not to mention the fact that any credit cards or computers would be utterly wiped due to the strength of this thing.
Ah… Perhaps I did go a tad overboard on this…
Mostly, I was looking for a field strength that was powerful, but arguably safe for humans to be exposed to. I wasn't even thinking about electronics at that stage. I'll lower it down so it's almost, but not quite as powerful as a standard MRI, then. And I'll also lower the exposure times.
That's not how osmosis works. Osmosis is the movement of water due to relative pressure/concentration differences across a membrane. Iron can't move across most membranes because it's very large, on a cellular scale.
Huh, seems I don't actually know what osmosis means, then. I thought it was one of the few scientific terms I actually understood.
No matter, I'll change it so that the skip eats using a corrosive effect to break it down. Unless that's unseasonable, too?
Liquids don't rebuild damaged mass. You can't create mass out of nowhere.
It doesn't rebuild mass out of nothing. What i was trying to convey was that it can patch itself up, to an extent. For example, if you removed its arm, but left the arm in the same room with it, the creature could pick its arm back up, hold it in place for a few seconds, and mend the damage. Not exactly sure how I'd convey, that, though. But clearly the words I have right now aren't adequate. So any suggestions would be appreciated!
The cost of this would be insane. Going back to the MRI example, they're expensive to run. Over 24 hours? Hospitals obviously have some sort of markup so they can pay the technicians running the thing, but an MRI for just an hour can cost upwards of $5000, for an uninsured patient. Since you're trying to generate a magnetic field big enough for a whole room, the cost just keeps going up to ridiculous amounts.
The whole interview log to me reads as somewhat cliche. Also, it's unlikely that the researcher could simply flip a switch on and off to turn on/off the magnetic field generator. Those things take time to warm up. It kinda breaks the flow to have them awkwardly wait around for the machine to turn on, but it'd be more accurate, and take less of a logic gap.
Hmm… actually, leaving the machine to warm up might make for some interesting passively threatening banter between Harper and Moor. Already stated I'll lower the exposure times and the amount of power behind the machines, though.
Granted, this is the foundation. It's always been treated as "lots of, but not quite limitless" resources. I understand that feilds that powerful would be expensive to maintain. But what isn't at the foundation?
Either way, thanks a ton for your feedback! None of the critique I got on Site19 brought up these issues so it's good that they're in the light from somebody who knows their stuff. Going to make the changes now.
I do think using an MRI-strength field to control it is an intriguing choice, given the (inaccurate) urban legend about the danger of certain tattoo inks in an MRI machine…
the thing itself isn't very interesting, but the shit it says and does and the email string is compelling as fawk +1
If I'm reading the email chain right, Saturn Deer is the one getting one pulled over on him by Demeter this time?
If so, nice change of pace.
I'm interested in knowing the various classifications of Liquid Organisms….
There you go.
