I remember seeing this as a draft a while back, was pretty cool
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Okay, so the author commentry on this could go on for longer than the article itself, so I'll skip that and say enjoy!
This is largely a collaboration between myself and Tanhony, with ihpkmn contributing the description of the mural.
butts
This is one of those ones where I'll have to read it a dozen times to figure out all the details, but let it be said that I love this.
Can't stop here. This is Lovecraft Country.
Cthulhu fthagn
What a wonderful phrase
Cthulhu fthagn
Say it and you're crazed
(credits to Tom Smith)
Okay, you fixed a number of my larger complaints about this. No longer does this all seem quite so unmotivated, the cultist is a bit less of a dick, and there's finally an explanation for why this didn't destroy the world. So, upvoted. Nice job.
Fuck yeah. This is great. It's like kicking it huge-log-style old school and at the same time taking the sense of "wat wow ok this is something" of more recent styles.
Living the dream, or dreaming the life?
This feels too similar to other things that have already covered this territory with the exception of the plot and the presence of something benevolent. I like those angles, but I kinda wish they were explored in a different way. Up until the mystery voice started speaking fthagn but was actually trying to help this felt like every other "crazy place the foundation explores and loses a bunch of people in. And here's some funky pictures."
I like the idea of the cult trying to weed out Old Ones by staging fights and banishments but I think I would like this better if there was no fog, no city, maybe some warring mad entities popping up somewhere to duke it out and the Foundation being totally in over their heads but also able to record that there's another party at play that is trying to ameliorate the destruction (or weed out the destructive ones). Because that would make the whole benevolent entity angle scary on its own. Not only do these old gods not give a darn about us and the destruction they cause is incidental, but sometimes we're so outmatched that we can only depend on a not entirely effective third party that may only be saving us incidentally as well.
That probably doesn't fit in with the whole Pangloss thing you're trying to do here, but it's what I'd like better as opposed to what's here.
Hmm. I do like these suggestions. I think an exploration with something in-progress would be super cool. It would take a gigantic amount of editing to change this article to that, but it's definitely an idea I'll keep in mind in the future.
butts
I like this in general. Good story, great exploration logs, but a couple issues.
First, you can't say "Daleport, New England". Redact it if you must, but pick a state.
Second, the third exploration log, with the spoken transcript, sounds too obviously Lovecraftian for my comfort. But more importantly, there's no way anyone in the Foundation is going to be able to transcribe those words with that much accuracy. You need phonetic approximators (i.e., "(shug?)") and lots more redactions due to being gibberish.
Third, I still don't get Pangloss and I don't really see what the point is, but I won't count it as a downside to this article.
Lastly, I noticed quite a number of small errors. That is all.
First, you can't say "Daleport, New England". Redact it if you must, but pick a state.
I've edited to "the New England town of Daleport".
Second, the third exploration log, with the spoken transcript, sounds too obviously Lovecraftian for my comfort. But more importantly, there's no way anyone in the Foundation is going to be able to transcribe those words with that much accuracy. You need phonetic approximators (i.e., "(shug?)") and lots more redactions due to being gibberish.
This is me being 1000% silly and it is all fully translatable with this.
Third, I still don't get Pangloss and I don't really see what the point is, but I won't count it as a downside to this article.
It's basically my attempt to get him out and about away from his silly notes.
Lastly, I noticed quite a number of small errors. That is all.
If you could point these out or go ahead and fix them yourself, that'd be super cool :>
butts
But according to that there's one too many k's in tharanakk, one too many h's in the end of hlirghh, and one too many m's in vulgtmm. I'm not sure if that's intentional, so I won't try to "fix" it, but it seems a little unrealistic that the Foundation would be able to make such a good transcript, especially if it differs from what Lovecraft actually wrote. Unless I'm missing something.
I believe those indicate tenses and pluralisations that I got from another source that I can't quite remember now (this has been sitting in sandbox in its earliest forms since march).
butts
The R'lyehan is silly. There's no two ways about it.
The New England thing is fine. I'll go ahead and put my money where my mouth is and fix this up now. :V
EDIT: Okay, I feex'd.
I changed a few long phrases, hopefully not changing the meaning.
You mention bodies in a row on "the main street" and then later mention there is an actual Main Street. Not sure if you wanted those to be the same, so I left them.
Not sure why you pluralize "rubbles", but I figure that could just be the Revered, so I left it alone as well.
I can't help but feel reminded of 1929 when I read this. Large cloud engulfs town, random skippy weirdness ensues. But even though there are distinct thematic similarities, I felt like this had enough good creep and originality to earn an upvote. I especially like how we see Pangloss playing an active role in this one. It's clear you guys put a crapton of work into this, and it shows. Good work ya'll.
Please do something about Log-1936-3, though. It just about ruins the whole thing for me. The cheesy l'ovec'raft a'post'rophe language is downright ri'donk'ulus. Let's be real here: is the Foundation staff member in charge of transcribing logs really going to know that tharanakk is spelled with two Ks?!
The Foundation employs a selection of F'tagn-to-English translators for just this occasion. After the Masquerade broke in 2021, the F'tagn Travel Dictionary was SEK Publishing's second-most-popular product. The first was the F'tagn Rhyming Dictionary.
True story, I even went forward in time and brought back an early copy. The passage in Log-1936-3 is fully translatable :D
butts
Personally, I've always thought Lovecraft had contact with some anomalous being in the Foundationverse. That'd explain it.
I dunno, I've never played so I couldn't tell you.
butts
(account deleted)Lovecraft != Silent Hill. They may have similar themes, but Silent Hill is more about psychological horror than cosmic horror. In Silent Hill, it's all about one character or a few, but in Lovecraft, it's all about how insignificant humans are in the scope of the universe and how horrible things could suddenly come out and eat the entirety of the planet at any time.
I'm not sure I liked the use of r'lyeh language, but, other than that I feel that this managed to show lovecraftian horror in an interesting light, the reference to sodom is also nice and makes sense.
Edit: also, mad mountaineers is great, I chuckles.
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page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
