Glad you added the salt. Goddamn writerbot…
+1
SCP-1853 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-1853.
SCP-1853 is a green liquid material made up of unknown ingredients.
This is still bad.
Why? I swear when describing a substance you say it's state and colour(In chemistry). Admittedly you would say "a green aqueous solution", at least from what I have studied.
I corrected a few things, but got stuck at this line,
"This has been shown to be deleterious to the subjects personality, alienating many people they had previously been friendly with."
When you alienate something or someone, you are causing them to feel isolated and alone. Here you are saying that by consuming this serum the consumers are causing their friends to feel isolated and alone. However, shouldn't it be that the consumers are causing themselves to feel isolated and alone? Their friends can just go find a new friend an easily end the "alienation", but the consumers are the ones who are ultimately going to be alone forever because of their attitudes.
Altogether, this was okay. Nothing special, but good enough for an upvote.
Am I missing something here? I was enjoying the read, hoping it was leading to a satisfying conclusion, but the last addendum was meh. Overall this doesn't seem all that anomalous to me, at least not in any interesting way. I really wanted to like it, but neutral vote for now.
Roget:
SCP-1853 is a green liquid material made up of unknown ingredients. When not being applied to an organic object, SCP-1853 displays no anomalous properties, and is functionally identical to water.
If it's functionally identical to water… it should have the same molecular structure as water because the properties and "functions" of water are directly based on the structure. If this is the case this is just water.
I think you need to rephrase this because it's giving me science hackles.
if an SCP isn't giving you science hackles then it's not doing its job right.
Though many SCPs tend to defy science, the reason Vivax is bothered by the science here is that the non-anomalous science was incorrect.
The fact that I'd still be tempted to take this stuff is probably a sign that I should upvote. I'd just need to find someone to try and be more courteous than…
if your reading this your gay
(account deleted)Ehhhhhh, there's too much stuff going on that I don't like in this one. The serum feels too much like a generic "cursed magic item", in that it allows wacky OTT behavior while making people hyper competitive. The documentation feels extremely silly in some places; the idea that the Foundation is a) allowing the continued use of this stuff and b) tracking competitive eaters and Black Friday shoppers hyper-NSA-style to observe it isn't sitting well with me. And the Prometheus Labs thing…just how many anomalous things did their headquarters spew out when it blew up? It's getting to the point where it's less of a GOI and more the most epic loot-drop in history. And the donut thing just pushes this even further into "too silly for the mainlist" territory for me.
Also, I have a nitpick:
The Foundation initially discovered SCP-1853 after such an incident occurred, where a football player in the ██████ minor league team was reported to leap 6.3 meters over his opposing team in order to score a goal. This resulted in a touchdown, and the subject being taken to the emergency room for two fractured legs.
I was confused at first because when you said "football" I thought you meant what we Americans call "soccer", but no, it's American football and should probably be noted as such in a scientific document. Further, American football doesn't really have "minor leagues"; players typically play college ball then go professional. There are arena leagues and semi-pro, but nothing that would really be described as a minor league system. And players aren't usually said to score "goals" unless you're talking about a field goal, which isn't what's happening in this case.
This isn't actually interesting. It doesn't go anywhere unexpected.
Living the dream, or dreaming the life?
I like the story and the moral here. Upvoting to keep it afloat. Could use some tightening for tone, and also:
- Usually, scoring a touchdown results in a touchdown.
- The first test long has a dash between the O and the number, while the rest don't.
/forum/t-745511/scp-1853#post-
page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
