I downvoted for a couple reasons.
First of all, I am not sure what the fuck it exactly is. I'm pretty sure brainwave is not a clinical term, but even if it was, I don't what an "anomalous brainwave" *is.* Do they, like, perceive things differently in their sleep? Is something altering their neurochemistry? Are their neurons just behaving in a different way, which is what I'm pretty sure a "brainwave" is but somebody who actually knows what they're talking about can correct me?
Second of all, I really don't find the idea to be that compelling. Because if space is filled with horrible and terrible things, I'd much rather see those horrible and terrible things than see our "space" or "mother" or whatever scrambling to protect us. This idea in itself just doesn't do very much to me. Something is fucking with us (okay the way it's presented in story there's some "great truth" about things that makes people realize something but then they act like they're insane so really there isn't much of a difference!) to prevent space travel. aand that's it.
I also really didn't like the final note. Like, it just spells it out for you, there. We're not even getting a semblance of subtlety. Maybe if the note was some sort of narrative, I'd feel better, but it's not even that, it's just some dude explaining it to us, without a hint of wonder or dread in the note itself.
The original idea was that it (space dementia) just sort of spontaneously happened, but I was told to make it more concrete. Finding a way to explain the origins of this without making it an exact clone of 990 or 1500 was tough, and I should have given it more thought. Any suggestions? As for the final note, I didn't want to make it just "whoa hey I just realized the vague and nondescript truth omg". I wanted to sort of add a real reason. I was told the note worked, but I see where you're coming from.
Should I make the effects of 2000 more broad and complex or nuanced? Broad and complex is what I'm thinking right now. Thanks for the feedback!
If i were you…I dunno, I might make it memetic. In the last part, the thing clearly has memetic undertones. Just don't, ah, make it a language, because there are too many of those. Mm, "spontaneously happening" definitely doesn't sound very interesting. But yeah, give it more thought. Memetic might not be a good idea, who knows.
I don't think the effects of 2000 is the problem here, I just have issues with the broader idea. Like I said, I just don't think some benevolent force's warning system is that great of an idea, and even if it is, it'd need to be better-executed for me to care.
Ugh, the memetic thingy makes so much sense to me. It's just a) I don't want to wind up copying Lowell's entry any more than I need to and b) the whole point of the end note is that he isn't infected, it's that he realized the real force behind the magical mystical space dementia. I'll tinker with it on the sandbox or somewhere, but I don't expect to go too far. And I do understand your issue with the idea. I just don't know how to fix it…
Big problem is, for the -rest- of the people, someone 'suddendly' understanding a truth and changing his way of thinking over a couple of words… then trying to convince others to think like him? Looks memetic even if it's not.
And if it works… if he MANAGES to convince others? They'll classify it as memetic in a heartbeat.
Keep in mind. Memes are ideas. To understand a meme is to carry/be-infected-with said meme. You might not react the same way, but you are a carrier.
Guys, tell me what you hate! I don't want this to stay at -1 forever!
Technically, I'm not 'guy' but, anyway… you explicitly spell out the conceit in the document.
That is…
…Doubleplusungood.
Also, the science is kinda ungood (brainwaves? You mean, like, ECG bands? OR neural oscilations? Something else mayhaps?)
1. It should be space odyssey, not oddity.
2. What even is this? To my understanding, its a disease that makes people either dislike space, make conspiracy theories about space and become paranoid, or hurt people involved with space travel. Its not really a good concept in my opinion.
Also, I appreciate that you were clinical, but this was clinical to the point I cant understand. This could just be me, but this is just my opinion. When you are writing, it is important to remember that the reader will not always be an MIT graduate who understands everything like REM sleep.
I just wanted to get my opinion out. Maybe to other people this is good. I dont feel it though.
Have nice day, friend. :)
It should be space odyssey, not oddity.
It's a pun.
To my understanding, its a disease
SCP-2001 is an anomalous series of neural oscillations
This is not a disease.
When you are writing, it is important to remember that the reader will not always be an MIT graduate who understands everything like REM sleep.
1): In-universe, most likely everybody reading this specific document will have education in this field.
2): I know nothing about sleeping science, and I understood this perfectly.
Also, the post your responding to is from 3 years ago, and the user hasn't been active since 2015.
Only nerds have signatures
Addendum: Our associates at Aperture Science are currently working on an anti-SCP-2000 meme (SCP-2000-Prime), which was recently tested on one of their Personality Core units. While SCP-2000-Prime proved effective in negating the simulated effect of SCP-2000, it was found to be far too effective, resulting in single-minded obsession with space. For more information, see document [CAKE REDACTED].
SRSLY: I thought it was okay. No upvote, no downvote.
Love it!
Especially the bit at the end. It makes me wonder if the affected alpha was influenced by her speech, or if SCP-2000 was spread by this interaction.
I'm glad you like it! Do you think I should add a footnote that reads something along the lines of "research into possible memetic qualities of SCP-2000 is still ongoing"?
Since we've apparently developed counter-memetic security precautions, it's probably a good idea to mention ongoing research.
Overall, I liked this one. Didn't love it. It's a solid skip, it had a story, I could actually follow the story, and it doesn't preclude the existence of other skips in space. That's of course assuming anything Redacted Dead Guy said was true.
+1 based on overall quality. I don't know if it deserves to win, but it definitely deserves to make it through the contest with positive numbers.
I really like this concept. I'm unsure about the execution. I'm kind of bleh that … the entity [w/o spoiling] affects people in such a disappointingly straightforward way. But I really like the nature & motivations of the entity.
So… No vote for now.
I'd say almost exactly the opposite here. I think the execution is good, but the idea that 'the universe' is alive, sapient, and benevolent just completely destroys any suspension of disbelief. I was enjoying the article, especially the collapsible close phrases, but the ending just left me cold. Sorry.
I'm not voting until the end of the contest, but I can't really think of a way for you to improve this for me.
It doesn't really works for me.. I just don't like the idea of the universe being kind of sentient, and trying to protect us. It just doesn't seem logic to me. The whole thing with the "what if we are in fact right" was good, I have to admit it, but it just don't like it…
(account deleted)There are too many conceptual issues with this one. For starters, I'm not a fan of people being skeptical of space travel attributed to an anomalous phenomenon. It feels too much like a "take that" to people critical of manned space exploration, and there are legitimate arguments to be made depending on the mission involved and the context. As for the "we faked the moon landing" people being under the effect of a skip, never attribute to anomalies what can be explained by stupidity.
As for the SCP spaceship blowing up, I dunno. I mean, I'm glad that the obvious "ship was publicly identified as Challenger/Columbia" cover story wasn't used, but I'm also not buying that a manned spacecraft blowing up didn't represent a massive publicity issue for the Foundation. Someone more knowledgable about aerospace issues can correct me if I'm wrong here, but I cannot imagine that it's possible to send something the size of a space shuttle up into the atmosphere at escape velocity without someone noticing, much less if it explodes. I wouldn't necessarily want to see a novel on it or anything, but no mention whatsoever of the threat of exposure from the incident seems weird.
And the last note. The researcher seems waaaay too easily convinced here. "So, says here you're under the effects of an anomalous mental thing. But the insane stuff you're telling me sounds legit, so I'll go blow up this spaceship. KTHXBYE." There's nothing in that narrative that suggests that the alpha carrier should be believed, and it feels like you're relying on [DATA EXPUNGED] to do the heavy lifting that should be occurring in the narrative in order to sell the reader on the plot twist.
Finally, there is absolutely no way I'm going to buy the "benevolent cosmos" stuff when said cosmos is presumably also responsible for the horrible mind-breaking monsters that it's trying to protect us from. And why would space travel even matter in that case? We're somehow undetectable to the eldritch horrors if we don't leave the Earth? There's not a lot of internal consistency here.
There's potential in the "abnormal brainwave beamed at us from elsewhere for mysterious reasons" concept here, but as it's presented right now there's just too much in the way of systemic issues for me to refrain from downvoting.
A couple quick responses before I have to go: 1) all of this makes sense, and I'm really mad that there are so many glaring errors. I'll try and fix them the best I can, especially the space shuttle coverup. b) the point of the last bit with the researcher instantly believing the carrier is that there is some memetic element to 2000, but the Foundation hasn't found it yet. Do you think elaboration on this would help resolve that issue? Thanks for your feedback!
I'll try and fix them the best I can, especially the space shuttle coverup
That's the effort common to successful writers on the wiki. I'll be sure to check back in and reevaluate in light of any changes you make.
Do you think elaboration on this would help resolve that issue?
Possibly. In my own view, I think the "there's a legitimate reason behind all this" twist is a viable direction to go in. I could actually get behind the notion of the researcher coming to the conclusion that the carriers are right and doing something about it without being infected more than I think I could get behind "alternate memetic transmission".
I can't guarantee that it'll work, but I will say that I think there's room for you to expand the researcher's diary in order to better sell the plot point.
Alright, I tried, but it seems way too heavy-handed. Subtlety is not my strong suit. I have no idea how well this works as a "kicker" or even merely as an elaboration. I could try and incorporate suggestions of (memeticality? memeticism? memeness?) into the letter, if the email is a bit too ham-fisted. Please let me know if this works or not! Thanks for the constructive feedback!
I reread. While your additional documentation adds a little more depth to the work, I think that systemically this one is just not my thing. That being said, I really appreciate your willingness to address criticism and make adjustments.
You're in the positives, so I wouldn't worry too much anyway. I look forward to seeing your contributions in future.
People keep saying 'the universe' here.
Actually, see, that's the thing. It's not the universe. Or the cosmos. Not the stuff within space, not space dust or Lovecraftian monsters or nebulas or anything else, bigger or smaller, but just space. (Near as I can tell, anyway.)
For some reason the fact that it's specifically space is what really makes it work for me on a conceptual level. If it were nearly anything else, the concept would fail for me.
Also, a side note:
For starters, I'm not a fan of people being skeptical of space travel attributed to an anomalous phenomenon.
I strongly agree with this. Not because it (to me) implies making fun of people with legit criticisms — but because I really dislike real-life psychological or cultural phenomena attributed to "an SCP did it lol". It usually is a lesser explanation than the actual more fascinating reality. In very rare cases this can work, but I don't think it's working here.
To be honest, I didn't even think about that interpretation when I wrote this. To me, it was just one of many possible explanations for critics of space travel. I didn't mean for it to come across like that at all; do you think a quick explanation of that could be snuck into a paragraph at some point? I'd hate to lose marks for something that shouldn't even be in there.
