This is great, I really like it. The only thing that I dislike is that they die at the end; I'd prefer them to manage to dig their way back. Foundation agents dying on exploration missions is getting pretty repetitive.
Exploration Log 1689-I / Discussion
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Yeah, I really would like to see it rewritten so that they escape. Firstly, because the nonthreatening potato world is made far less interesting when "OH WHOOP IT KILLED THEM". Secondly, because the manner in which they die is so silly…they /didn't notice/ that they were running low on the only thing that allowed them to maneuver the world? That strains credulity to the breaking point. It really feels like an obvious excuse to have them killed. Similar to the line "I don't know why she had demolition charges"— makes them sound like campers instead of commandos.
Not every exploration log needs to end in death, especially if the death is so uninteresting and forced. I really like this piece, but please change the end…
I sing of arms and the man
Storm-tossed by Hera's jealousy
I suppose I could. If other people agree it detracts, I probably will.
they /didn't notice/ that they were running low on the only thing that allowed them to maneuver the world?
They did. They just couldn't do anything to stop it. Oh, the enzyme, right. I'll figure it out.
I don't see any real reason why they would have ever ran out of enzyme, surely they would have at least checked it every time they used it and noticed that it was getting low.
Yeah, at this point every foundation agent ever dies on these trips, it's tiresome. And when it happens, it's clear taht everything happened just to get them to die, because That's What Happens. It kind of hurts the premise that the Foundation really are the super elite experts at Weird Shit when they can never, ever manage to get anyone who has ever written a journal entry back to home base alive.
I actually think it's perfectly reasonable they'd not notice the space shrinking. It's so monotonous, they'd only notice when it became a physical problem because the brain is filtering out the boring shit because its a world of fucking potatoes someone please start bleeding because THE YELLOW GODDAMNIT.
He means they didn't notice they were running out of enzime.
As in, the only thing they could use to move around and survive.
Good characterization, compelling storyline, humorous moments. What I like to see in an exploration log. +1.
if your reading this your gay
Much as I like the main article and am pleased to see there's an exploration log (and even the places it goes to, especially the "spud" entry), I really didn't like the voice in this. It just doesn't feel official at all, even less so than I would expect from a fairly leisurely log.
I have to agree with this. Cinaidering the situation this guy was in, it just didn't feel "real" to me; it almost felt like the narrator was an outside commentator, IMO.
I liked this. I liked this a lot and now want to learn more about North/South Spuderica Potasia Tubeurope Taterland. That said, I do actually kind of agree that I'd like to see them get out alive. Whatever you choose, to do, this is written well enough and compelling enough to have earned my +1. Bravo!
…go for a middle point, maybe one or two die in a cave-in, and the rest survives?… (just kidding, I want them to get out XD)
"On 30 Oct 201█, the corpses of Mission Captain Wells and Agents Ozols, Meryle, and Petersons were found nine hundred (900) meters from the exit of SCP-1689 encased in potatoes."
If I hadn't already upvoted, this line would have done it for me.
We ran out of food rations today. Xander freaked out and started saying we were going to starve, until I told him he was a fucking idiot.
Brilliant. This is just simply one of those perfect lines that you don't see too often in articles anymore.
I want them to get out, too, mostly because it's ridiculous that they didn't keep track of the enzyme supply, or even take a close look at the potatoes until it was too late.
EDIT: Ok, maybe I got a little attached. In any case, Wells was indeed an "awful captain." They should have been more prepared and more observant. Take note, aspiring SCP agents.
I personally knew their fate was sealed when none of them had an O' or Mac/Mc in their lastnames.
Man, is this creepy! Doubly so because of my fear of tight spaces, and triply so because of my fear of spaces getting tighter (is there a word for that?). I do, however, agree that they probably shouldn't have died. But, even so. +1.
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page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
