(account deleted)I liked the exploration bits. The ending note is still sort of vague to me, but it got me interested.
The implication is, by landing the ship on its own battery cover, the room "lands" inside an actual working spaceship somewhere out there. The Foundation intends to effect containment by taking control of the helm. And you, the reader, are invited. :)
If you can think of a better way I could have expressed this idea, I'm open to suggestions.
I personally thought you handled it perfectly. Just the right amount of vague without giving me any real trouble in figuring out what was meant. Made me smile.
I should just move on. I should go "This is awfully gimmicky and totally just about putting Star Trek in SCP."
And yet. Yet. I think this is the first one I've read that I DREAMED about having. That I wished existed. That…it's beautiful.
You totally get a +1 for making my childhood dreams come true (at least, in this universe).
I feel ya. On both counts. This whole concept has been polarizing from the first drafts onwards, and I can see why.
Could I have given the same anomalous attributes to some other toy model of a spaceship? Yup. But it would have been a completely different skip with a completely different tone, and it would end up telling a completely different story.
Star Trek has left us with a legacy of genuine historical significance. To me, the question is not can I reference that legacy, but should I? Can I do so respectfully? Can I draw upon the heart and soul of the original series without breaking what an SCP is supposed to be?
Responses like yours tell me I pulled it off; that there was something worth communicating here, and I successfully conveyed it.
Thank you.
See, what would be gimmicky would be "just putting the trappings of / recognizable items from Star Trek in SCP".
This is about actually putting Star Trek in SCP. Capturing not just a sense of danger, but wonder, the promise that human nature was for greater good than ill and that one day the only things which will confine us will be the boundaries of the unknown.
And that's why this is an amazing article.
Hmm. I do like extradimensional SCPs and the fact that when people enter through the ship to a place that they can modify or change, as with the moon, is intriguing. The star trek reference appears a bit tacked, but nothing that would really made a bad impression of the SCP for me. The zinger with the D-class being the first to die is also nice. :)
I also like the danger of 2000 breaching containment basically as per leisure and the fact that it was suddenly activated - and the resulting question, why.
And the note at the end is pretty sweet, too.
This 2000 proposal has a lot going on for it, not lacking execution in any of the points made, made me goosebump and thus gained my +1.
I am extremely disappointed the O5 didn't end that note with some manner of "To boldly go..".
Mmm. Nah. Too far.
It's still the Foundation. Their mission statement isn't To Boldly Go so much as to Quietly Keep People Away From.
Which isn't to say that that choice Trek quote might not come up if I were to write a Tale about this SCP-2000 candidate. Certainly it's going to be in the back of the mind of every single researcher to set foot on this thing. It would just be a terribly gauche thing to say out loud, you know?
It's a tough balancing act. Sorry to disappoint, but in this case, I had my reasons for leaving it implied rather than going for the full reference.
If you do write a story for this one please let me know. I really want to read it.
It should be noted that, statistically speaking, D-class personnel do not tend to last long during a Landing Event. For reasons that are not well-understood (but which have been heavily speculated upon by researchers,) D-class personnel are invariably the first to be shot, stabbed, vaporized, crushed by falling rocks, trapped outside the room, frozen or otherwise terminated by dangers present.
*chuckles
try giving them blue jumpers instead of orange ones. +1
I thought this was the worst part. If it hadn't been there, I would've upvoted.
i think the binary at the end was bad. A tad too cliché.
Do you mean that using the binary was cliché, or that the ending exposed by clicking the binary was cliché?
I mean, either way, I pretty much agree with you. :) But in both cases, I had my reasons for invoking those tropes unironically.
I'm open to suggestions for a better collapsible, if it's the former.
As I've mentioned this before (though through the magic of wikidot, on it happened in the past on subsequent pages,) this was easily the most controversial element of the skip.
Actually, I may further tweak the wording here. It's just that given the Landing Event logs I've written up so far on the Sandbox page, they haven't had too many deaths. A partial solution may be to de-emphasize the Redshirt joke a little bit. But I will not remove it. Not while the comments saying "it's my favorite part" and "this ruined the skip for me" are still neck-and-neck.
My position is that if it's controversial, and it reminds people of Trek, I'd rather have it in the skip than not have it, on the grounds that removing stuff makes the skip blander. If everyone hated it, of course it would be gone as soon as I could edit the document.
Edit: Now that I think about it, that's terrible reason for either keeping or removing a line! I shouldn't be worried about what people think, I should just be focusing on whether or not it adds to the article. I think I just grew a little bit as an author.
I have removed the comical list of causes of death from the sentence, see if you like how it reads now any better. I really enjoyed the old version, but I feel like this version flows better and fits into the article better. It preserves Clinical Tone, while the old version was questionable at best.
Apologies to those of you who loved the Redshirts Joke in its original form. AND those of you who wanted me to remove it altogether. I've probably pissed off both camps with this compromise. X3 Oh, well!
I don't understand this in all of its capacities, but what the hell. I've seen every episode of every Star Trek series, and I'll be damned if I don't upvote a Star Trek SCP.
Sorry to confuse you, though naturally I'm grateful for the upvote. :) Which of its capacities don't you understand?
Basically, it does three things:
- If you play with it the way a child would play with a toy spaceship, it can be used for real or pretend space travel.
- If you don't play with it for too long, it will start flying around on its own, basically playing with itself. It is extremely dangerous in this state, but not very aggressive.
- If you tell it to space-travel to the inside of itself (by "landing" on the battery cover,) it instead connects to the inside of a real spaceship. (This is implied by the phrase "Welcome aboard." Sorry if this was too subtle.)
I hope this explains the article better, but please let me know if you have any questions.
- If you tell it to space-travel to the inside of itself (by "landing" on the battery cover,) it instead connects to the inside of a real spaceship. (This is implied by the phrase "Welcome aboard." Sorry if this was too subtle.)
Ah. That makes it even better.
Don't worry about being too subtle; I have poor reading comprehension. An SCP wouldn't be subtle if everyone understood it the first time they read it, anyways.
Also, that may be the most polite reply I've ever seen on this wiki.
I loved the essence of that end note.
+1
