Here they are, re-posted by my own dang self. Thanks go out once again to ObserverSeptember for forcing this page into existence helping compile these and convincing me that these should have a page their own.
Enjoy! :)
CryogenChaos' Comment Tales / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page CryogenChaos' Comment Tales.
Well, that was embarrassing. >.>
These are nice, and I'm glad there in a place where the Internet Archive can catalog them now.
Finally! All these vague memories of awesome comments can finally stop plaguing me to pour through countless threads in fruitless attempts to entertain myself. And now I can just sit back and wait for the next one to pop up. And I've got a feeling that it'll show up on this very thread within a week. Just you watch.
Oh and +1, but that should go without saying.
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!
Dammit Roget, I've been trying to find that one for this.
Am I to expect a mini-tale in the comment section for the Mini Tales list? :P
Anyway, great collection. Upvoted.
CryogenChaos stared long and hard at his monitor. The question before him was a question he had not thought of. What would happen if he wrote a mini tale in the comments of his Mini Tale list? Would the internet explode, much like how Strong Bad predicted? No, that's not likely, and chances are that "prophecy" was really just a way for him to shoehorn a Homestar Runner reference into whatever mini tale he came up with. Still, it was an interesting thought. What could he write about? It would have to be something good, and totally not something he pulled out his ass in like five minutes. Nope. That couldn't happen.
He sat and pondered for several minutes, rocking back and forth in his easy office chair. Finally, he buckled down and he started to write. He had already figured out what the first paragraph was going to contain, it was going to be so self referential it would completely alienate any reader from reading onward, much like his second paragraph was going to. "I should write this particular part like I'm saying it," he said dryly, wondering how much further whatever reader was reading this would go before they got bored and told him this was dumb. "This part too, though the joke will probably have run stale by this point. Man, I am just so good at this, aren't I, Pom Pom?" he laughed to himself, though only momentarily. Another Homestar Runner reference. Absolute gold.
He stopped momentarily to worry. Would people find this too dumb? Would it be looked at with distaste, that it's something like what one would find in a Thread…erm…thread? And while Thread discussions could end with good things (like that one time he wrote about superheroes that totally became a real thing, he'd have to sneak a reference to that somewhere in the third paragraph), if it was just too random, people would hate it. This kind of reminded him of those typing tests you take on the Internet. The ones that make you type out nonsense and you get a score that tells you how well you type and you feel smart because you managed to type about QWERTY keyboards. "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog," he muttered, wondering whether or not he'd include yet another Homestar Runner reference. Probably not. Probably just a mention. Didn't want to run the joke into the ground.
He had reached the fourth paragraph, and decided this one was going to be the last one. He leaned back and pondered again, this time wondering what his final sentence would be. It'd have to be something that wrapped things up nicely. Maybe he'd make a mention of Athena Grey, the user who started this whole thing. No, not in the end, but somewhere. "'And that's the end of this tale, I suppose.'!" he said, grinning to himself as he finished his ill thought out four paragraph essay about nothing. He couldn't wait to see how people reacted to this tale! He hit the "Preview" button first to make sure everything was alright, made a few adjustments, and then he pressed "Post it" and sat back, satisfied. And that's the end of this tale, I suppose.
You have just wrote a mini-tale telling how you wrote a mini-tale about you writing a mini-tale.
10/12
Now, I would have started out with a few notes on the writing style and quality - in the spirit of constructive criticism which these Comment threads are, after all, built upon, but…
… boyeah a me-reference. I'm, like, totally canon now. :D
Two can play at this game!
O5-7 stepped into the room, a smirk on his face. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Penis."
Wait… shit…
I now want to write a tale using this line.
Admin, SCP Wiki
I shouldn't be laughing this hard at work, you know? XD
Another Homestar Runner reference. Absolute gold.
I don't laugh aloud very often.
Added, as well as added one for SCP-208.
My one regret is that there was this one thing I wrote a few months ago that I'll never be able to find. At the time, there were two humanoid SCPs on the chopping block: one was a red humanoid 682 but way way better y'all, the other was a…golem, I think? It was something involving being made of every mineral in the history of ever. Since they were both going down, I figured I'd write a goofy little story about an intergalactic/interdimensional arena where they both showed up to duke it out.
Unfortunately, in a clear case of awesome foresight, I posted it on one of the pages (I think it was on the 682 knockoff page), and it got deleted and I never saved it anywhere else. :(
I have a screen shot of that actually. Where should I upload it?
Retyped so you don't have to:
The reality bender grinned as he entered the middle of the ring. These were the fights he lived for, the fights he loved to organize. Most of the time, it was just animals vs. inanimate objects or something stupid like that. This time, though, things were different. The stadium was packed with entities of all shapes and sizes; just from a quick glance, he could see a couple of Sl'thans, a few wayward humans in lab coats (those damn Foundationites, he was going to have to have a word with them after the show), a Vampyr Countess, and if he didn't know any better, he'd say the fellow with the gaping maw was an emissary of the Pattern Screamer. Tonight was going to be a good night.
He turned on his microphone before speaking. "Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the Battle of the Beasts! Tonight, we have a very special fight lined up for you all, a matchup that happens only once every few decades! For this night, you will all be present…for a sentient humanoid fight!"
The stadium shook with the uproar of cheers as the reality bender waited for the noise to die down. "Yes, yes, now allow me to introduce you to our combatants!" He walked a few paces to a corner of the ring, where a strange looking lizard man was being held by two burly captors. The reptilians hands and feet were bound, and he had a muzzle over his mouth. He looked very angry. "In this corner, hailing from the east side of the Gamma Quadrant, we have the last living warrior of the extinct species known as the Reptiliax! His speed and power are matched only by his ruthlessness, here to perform for you tonight, give it up for Vileskar the Destroyer!"
The crowd erupted again with a combination of cheers and boos, all of which agitated Vileskar significantly, fiercely pulling on his restraints. The reality bender walked to the opposite corner, where another humanoid golem sat, being restrained almost exactly the same way as his opponent, a cold fury found in his unblinking eyes. "And in this corner, hailing from the planet Terra, we have a unique example of a human experiment gone horribly, horribly wrong! This creature's skin is as hard as his strength is high, ready to prove its existence to you all, put your hands together for Specimen 1265*!"
The reality bender walked back to the center of the ring as the crowd's insane cheering reverberated throughout the stadium. The reality bender motioned for the restraints to be removed, snapped his fingers and rematerialized in his box seat, his final words still echoing around.
"Let the fight…BEGIN!"
*I don't actually know if that's the actual url, I'm just making an educated guess
Added, and holy fuck you are my new best friend for having this saved. :)
That is one of my many favorites on this page. Awesome that it was saved and awesome that you wrote all these short little stories!
Wow, I'm indirectly responsible for one of these. Now all I have to do is actually get off my ass and write an SCP…
/forum/t-688445/cryogenchaos-comment-tales#post-
page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
