SCP-3009 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-3009.

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Author Post

keyii 02 Aug 2018 12:28

Hello, SCP Foundation! I'm Keyii — this is my debut SCP, which started out with the slightly goofy concept of "snapchat ghost but literally" and got steadily more and more depressing as I wrote it. I own the image so no need to worry about lawsuits there, guys. The Foundation also almost had a male Snappelganger, but the friend who I asked to be my model shot me down cold. Thus we have the article as it exists today.

I owe a huge thank you to:

• Cyantreuse, for being so kind about discussing my idea in the Ideas forum!
• minmin, for giving me permission to use SCP-2232 and for his extensive proof-reading,
• FilaYoung and NewyRose, for their thoughtful comments while proofreading!
• thefoundationnoob, for their great suggestions in the drafts forum!

I'm very inexperienced as an SCP writer, but I would be extraordinarily pleased if anyone got any enjoyment out of this at all.

EDIT: This SCP (formerly 3439, now 3009) has changed number!! Thank you so much to talented and very kind Shaggydredlocks for offering me the slot when he decided to delete one of his stories.

Last edited on 05 Aug 2018 06:59 by keyii Show more

NewyRose 02 Aug 2018 13:06

yes, cute, adorbs, yet depressing and very existential in the end. +
^{how's your face that smooth and perfect, please teach me your ways}

Last edited on 02 Aug 2018 13:09 by NewyRose Show more

keyii 02 Aug 2018 14:48

Thanks Newy — appreciate it! Hope you feel better after your antibiotics course :(

veryparticulardwarf 02 Aug 2018 13:57

1.61 cm tall? Intentional?

keyii 02 Aug 2018 14:49

Definitely not intentional — thanks for the catch, and for reading! Fixed.

morgenthegrey 02 Aug 2018 14:27

Just a couple of nitpicks on a quick reading:

SCP-3439 appears to believe that the Foundation will either assist it in returning to its own body and has so far fully co-operated with the Foundation based on this stipulation.

Is there an "or" that should go with the "either"?

Also, is there an SCP-3439-A? I see a -B and a -C, but no -A.

But I like the idea! +1.

keyii 02 Aug 2018 14:59

Oh, haha, that's the remnants of an drafting edit that I missed. Thanks so much! Fixed.

About -B and -C, I kind of thought that the account would be "A" in the series. Not quite sure what the protocol is — think I should change it?

morgenthegrey 02 Aug 2018 18:30

I think the account could be -A, but you should specify that it's -A. Having -B and -C with no -A made me think I missed something.

(account deleted) 02 Aug 2018 14:37

Very good first article! The way you developed the identity horror aspect really caught me; it was quick enough to keep me interested, but slow and menacing enough to give me that "oh shit" feeling.

Minor and personal nitpicks:

• "1.61 cm" for SCP-3439-C’s characteristics. (Thanks for catching that one.)
• Experiment 3439-B-5 should be worthy of its own collapsible.
• "on-site Burger King"?…

Edit: Well, this blew up. +50

Last edited on 03 Aug 2018 21:09 by (account deleted) Show more

keyii 02 Aug 2018 15:09

Thank you so much! I'm so incredibly glad that you enjoyed it — I was worried!

1.61 cm is…. fixed. I'll put Experiment 3439-B-5 in its own collapsible right away, I think you're right, that collapsible is by far too long hahaha. On-site Burger King… hahaha. Well, it's not necessarily a security breach, and Foundation members have to eat too…

(account deleted) 02 Aug 2018 15:50

Never mind, I forgot memory alteration was a thing.

NewyRose 03 Aug 2018 05:45

nah, everybody knows the O5 and the site directors love to torture their staff with horrid cafeteria food.

ofmiceandmousemats 03 Aug 2018 13:57

Burger King is more of a franchise company than a chain restaurant. It's not beyond the realms of possibility that The Foundation would have used a front company and paid the franchising fee to Burger King to build a store to keep morale up on-site.

fieldstone 03 Aug 2018 14:34

I really like the idea of a Foundation that will kidnap a teenage girl and hold her indefinitely with no compunction whatsoever, but makes sure to pay franchising fees to corporations whose products they use on-site.

Uncle Nicolini 02 Aug 2018 15:34

I'm incredulous that this is your first article, color me impressed.

Enthusiastic +1. Well done!

keyii 02 Aug 2018 15:39

THANK YOU SO MUCH UNCLE!! Glad you liked it!!

Sagalink 02 Aug 2018 16:01

Hey this is pretty good! You do a great job of establishing your own voice and not just emulating all the other SCPs out there. (My votes on -C being the real one because that's way more human)

keyii 02 Aug 2018 16:54

Thank you very much! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!

philocke 06 Aug 2018 14:47

What if they're both the real one. It's just a difference of wet vs. hard ware…

Dubiously Euclidean 02 Aug 2018 16:40

I really like this one, especially the psych evaluation. Foundation psychologists are in a really shitty spot. "Welp, the subject is basically in solitary confinement, surrounded by otherworldly horrors they hear about from the guys in lab coats and the SWAT guys that are pointing their guns at them, and um. They seem depressed. And err, they tend to disassociate a lot, like someone in solitary confinement oh god"

One thing: In the psych eval, you have three instances of "at this point" which is a little cumbersome.

The continued containment of SCP-3439-C therefore represents a difficult moral quandary for the Foundation and the Ethics Committee. It is impossible to tell at this point whether SCP-3439-C has anomalous properties or not at this point, with strong evidence pointing in both directions. Furthermore, any such anomalous properties that might be discovered in the future seem unlikely to be substantially dangerous — it is obvious at this point that SCP-3439-C does not represent the possibility of a world ending event.

keyii 02 Aug 2018 16:54

Oops, my bad. Will fix that. Glad you liked it!

Eskobar 02 Aug 2018 23:31

I was ready to hate this.

Then I was sad it was over already.

+1

keyii 03 Aug 2018 05:21

Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm so glad that you liked it!

(account deleted) 02 Aug 2018 23:54

This is great and a wonderful result of what we discussed in the ideas and drafts forums. The scariest part of it is the implication that a 15-year-old has a credit card, though.

keyii 03 Aug 2018 05:24

Cyantreuse, I literally cannot thank you enough for helping me out in the ideas and drafts forum. This is my first ever SCP and that was my first ever post on the forum, so I was extremely grateful for the way that you discussed an admittedly kind of silly idea so seriously with a complete newbie writer. I'm so glad that you liked the end product!!

(+ don't give 15 year olds credit cards, friends. You'll end up bankrupt.)

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