Yesssss. More new stuff for the He-who-made-Light and He-who-made-Dark mythos!
+1
SCP-1736 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-1736.
I actually started a line-by-line for this because I saw it already had +3 but had to give up half way through.
There are too many tone / spelling / grammar errors for me to help you with, so I'll leave it to one of the better writers on the site.
-1
I'm not trying to be mean, but are grammar and spelling issues reasons to downvote? I mean, if it were painfully bad, using some sort of l33t speak or in some horrible black-speech like Hungarian(I jest, I jest, it's not that bad..), yeah, but I think the idea carries it through. Then again, I freely admit I'm a huge fan of the He-who-Made mythos, so I'm mildly biased.
The articles are supposed to be finished and professional. There really isn't any room for those kind of mistakes and they definitely kick the reader out of the narrative. Besides, I'm sure if they were fixed the downvote would become a no vote or a +1.
People are free to downvote for any reason related to the article, no matter how minor. In the case of grammar/spelling errors, many voters with remove or reverse their vote once those errors have been corrected. Also note that editing in order to correct basic grammar & spelling errors is permitted for anyone, so long as the actual content of the article is preserved. I.e. fixing verb tenses is okay but rewriting a sentence isn't. Also note that both U.K. and American spellings are acceptable, so make sure that the spelling error isn't just an alternate spelling.
Giving bearhugs to the unsuspecting since 1872.
Tonally this just feels off. For example:
During such an event, approximately 20% of SCP-1736-2 in attendance will attempt to persuade passers-by to come and listen to SCP-1736-1 using language such as, “come, He brings enlightenment,” and “He is here to lead us away from the darkness,” and [REDACTED]
These examples don't really add to the readers understanding of the SCP. It seems more like an attempt to build up this mythos, but isn't really relevant to the SCP itself.
Additionally, in the containment procedures you list off a series of clunky contingency plans. While I see the appeal, for me they just slowed down the read with needless detail. Remember, these articles aren't meant to be exhaustive; a single line saying "In the event of a containment breach, see Document 1736-AJ1 for recontainment procedures" would cover it just fine. Then, if you want to go into exhaustive detail, make another page and link it in.
Besides that, it just doesn't do much for me. I haven't read any of the other relevant material, but that's kind of the point; SCPs need to stand on their own WITHOUT any of the other backstory, and this one doesn't (for me at least). It's a radioactive dude and some radioactive followers. As I was reading it, I kept waiting for the hook/twist, and it never came.
The idea that the Foundation created SCP-1736 is interesting, though it feels a little like an excuse to link to other skips. I can't help but feel the core premise - the radioactive religion - could do with some further development, perhaps in the form of examples of the belief system; I was waiting for an interview with the preacher the Foundation has in custody but it never arrived. I do gather it's part of a wider mythos but I agree the piece doesn't quite feel like it stands on its own. No vote from me at the minute, I'm afraid.
I always like SCPs that provide insight into how the Foundation operates, and this peek into the institutional inertia of a massive bureaucracy is quite nice. And the Foundation isn't perfect by any means; I like that you've shown how they can screw up and end up actually making a new dangerous SCP (like that anti-meme or the "containment chamber"). Unlike some other comments, I feel that the crosslinking is entirely appropriate here, since the use of the other He-Who-Made SCPs is what allowed this researcher to create/resurrect the religion. I do feel that it could use some streamlining, but overall I enjoy it.
+1
Giving bearhugs to the unsuspecting since 1872.
I really disagree with the colloquial word "skip" being used in an O5 meeting. Other than that I'm ambivalent as hell, though that may be the lack of sleep talking.
Living the dream, or dreaming the life?
Upon reflection I agree with your disagreement and edited the "skip"s in the final addendum.
I dunno.
The Foundation Investigation was the most interesting part of this, but I don't think it was enough to push it into upvote territory. No vote from me.
I really like the idea behind this, the execution, and the mythos.
Ooh, fun stuff. Surprised at the link to 1127, but I guess it works.
if your reading this your gay
This actually grew out of the idea of what might happen in a crosstest between 719 and 1127… But I suspect any anomalous broadcast that had a effect on the viewer would have worked as well for the purpouse, providing a conduit for He-Who-Made-Light to jump from the screen into the viewer's mind.
/forum/t-671345/scp-1736#post-
page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
