SCP-3793 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-3793.

First time trying to write a skip

Xhasqve_Onizpjan 27 Jul 2018 03:32

So, hopefully this is looking good. Thanks to Roget for giving me feedback on this one, and to the people who gave it a quick look at it when I joined the IRC chat.

Image credits go to: https://www.flickr.com/photos/stuartchilds/13844644273/

Choiwel 28 Jul 2018 08:26

I think this is well written, but there is nothing here that keeps me interested. Perhaps try expanding on the origin of the object, or its initial recovery (the havoc it must have brought to that town)? I feel like there is room for humor here, too.

Novoting for now.

Xhasqve_Onizpjan 28 Jul 2018 22:15

Thanks for the reply, Choiwel. I'll try addressing all of these, I guess the Discovery part is too shallow right now. Also there's a throwaway joke I didn't add at first, but I might as well do it to help the piece.

I'll keep trying to make improvements, though it's possible that the premise simply doesn't work well as an entry.

Crow-Cat 08 Dec 2018 05:08

I'm really confused as to why there's so few votes. It's competently written, has a unique and fun anomaly, no SCP cliches, and does a good job at keeping a mystery.

Criminally underrated.

mayoculpa 08 Dec 2018 05:27

I like the implication at the end that some random civilians discovered it and basically decided to use the Men of Squalor's anomalous properties to perpetrate some heists.

Now I wanna know that their music sounds like. Plenty of punk rockers in those days.

Crayne 04 Sep 2019 10:47

Criminally underrated.

Indeed. +1

Maxyfran73 08 Oct 2022 03:01

The idea is interesting, but it doesn't feel as though anything is done about it. There's a lot of descriptive text that, while interesting, feels too unfocused in its execution, leading to a rather unsatisfying read. The discovery bit also feels largely unimportant and makes the piece not have an impactful ending.

Overall, I just wish there was more of a punch to the idea, because the concept is good: The execution, however, leaves a lot to be desired.

-1