
you need to add the 4000 tag for this to show up on the 4000 page
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you need to add the 4000 tag for this to show up on the 4000 page
Welcome to my post history. Enjoy your stay.
What's with the spacing at the top?
if your reading this your gay
This is certainly ambitious, but frankly I think it's too long, with an excessive number of collapsibles for the different clearance levels and not enough payoff for it.
The HDI image appears to be broken.
I don't know about using a 'jettatore' term. I actually do think it reads better than SCP-4000-A or whatever, but using some number designation would be more orthodox.
There were a number of things which I found particularly confusing, which may well be my misreading of the article but the length didn't help in this regard.
SCP-4000 is a phenomenon that occurs when any person fixes their gaze on another person or their possessions
Jettatore are humans able to project SCP-4000 at anything within sight when sufficiently focused or irritated. As SCP-4000 is invisible and largely undetectable without anomalous means, so are the jettatore.
Is this an ability confined to certain people (jettatore), or is it something that happens to some degree for anybody? This was the biggest one for me as it muddled my understanding of the whole thing.
In order to reduce the impact of SCP-4000 it is imperative that we prevent its spread into industrialized or “First World” nations… SCP-4000 must never be allowed to “see” the wealth or prosperity of the First World. SCP-4000 must only see poverty and privation. This is why jettatore are barred from entry into high development-index nations. Their presence could trigger SCP-4000 and cause nationwide catastrophe.
This is especially true in nuclear-armed nations. Nine nations, The United States, France, The United Kingdom, China, Russia, India, Pakistan and North Korea possess an estimated combined 16,300 nuclear weapons. The majority are possessed by the United States. If SCP-4000 exposure in those nations reaches critical levels it is likely that it will cause nuclear accidents or inadvertent nuclear war. It is especially pertinent that this not occur in United States and Russia due to their aging nuclear infrastructure. India and Pakistan both have high quotients of SCP-4000-compatible beliefs and are therefore of special concern.
But most of those aren't developed nations? I'm not sure how to interpret this. It immediately undermines the preceding paragraph trying to convey concerns about spread of SCP-4000 into the industrialised world. Maybe you're trying to get across that it hasn't reached 'critical levels' in India, Pakistan etc., but then the developed/developing distinction isn't so important anyway.
High HDI nations are to develop in such a way as to render economic progression in low HDI nations functionally meaningless on the geopolitical stage.
What does this mean? Is it saying 'the development/income disparity between high and low HDI nations is to be maintained?' It would have been better to just say that, because the quote is a really confusing way of conveying it.
To maintain the illusion of economic change, the HCED is authorized to deploy jettatore against high net-worth individuals, successful corporations or industries/economic sectors that are in the mid-stage of developing economic bubbles. Deployment of coordinated jettatore teams in this way may only be made with ⅔ approval by the O5 Council.
I don't get this either. The Foundation being responsible for maintaining wealth inequality is clearly the point of the SCP, but they're also directed to redistribute wealth 'to maintain the illusion of economic change'? Are they trying to target successful industries in low-income countries to prevent their development? Are they targeting successful industries in high-income countries to prevent wealth inequality from getting too out of control? Both of those would fit with the theme of the SCP, but they would be the opposite of maintaining the illusion of economic change - doing those things would be maintaining the economic status quo and convince nobody that economic change was occurring.
In a way these are kind of pedantic complaints, but I also think they're pretty major problems - for example, the thing about having a task force of jettatore is an important part of the article and not understanding the basic rationale behind it is very off-putting.
'Surprise, the Foundation is responsible for [real problem]' is pretty difficult to get right, and this seems to have focused too much on trying to get across that idea as a means for horror and pathos, but without the parts working together very well. -1, but I can respect the ambition here and this has so far been the article I put the most thought into downvoting.
This is a good concept, but it's dragged down by grammatical errors and a lack of a hook. I very quickly lost interest while reading, and by the end I had stopped caring about it altogether, and just wanted it to end.
-1
Welcome to my post history. Enjoy your stay.
I liked this article.
I think the different training slide shows were well done, and a clever way of showing the different levels of information dissemination throughout the Foundation. Additionally, the cosmic rebalancing is an interesting concept and I feel like you do a good job world building around that, especially with the build-up to what is surely going to be a major catastrophe if containment wholesale fails.
My only complaint is that you end the final note with a Data Expunged. Lame sauce, friend. Give us that ending.
It is, arguably, a very slow burning article, and I don't blame others for deciding the build-up is too long and the pay off to small to hit the upvote. However, for me there was a lot to like. +1.
Well, that's different.
It is a very slow-burning phenomenon, and specifically pulls from aspects of foreign cultures and impoverished societies in a way that other SCPs don't do, so for that reason, I'm okay with the whole "this SCP is causing a real-world phenomenon" thing that can get super overdone.
It has some spelling errors that are inevitable in any piece this long; I didn't make note of them, but a careful reading will point them out. They aren't a huge problem.
The multiple repeated iterations of the increasingly declassified document are really the thing that I, if I were writing it, would cut down on dramatically. When I did the same conceit for SCP-046, I kept it down to two versions; one Good Foundation and one Bad Foundation. This is obviously a much more comprehensive story, so feel free to disregard, but I think it would have communicated at least…I dunno, 92% of the story at 50% of the length if you cut out probably the Level 3 and 4 versions and moved the most relevant information into either the lower-classification or the higher classification versions.
Just thoughts. I'm sure you're sick of being told that you did too much work here :)
I found this SCP utterly chilling.
That said, it does need another editing pass or two.
Same to all of this. Needs some work for some less-than-clinical language in places, and a few other grammatical nitpicks.
I feel like the overall concept has loads of potential, though.
This is actually a concept I have been struggling for years to put into the correct context, I'm glad somebody was up to the task. I think this article has a lot less impact to those who never grew up with this cultural myth. I know that it hits me quite solidly as some of my distant eastern European relatives swore by its existence when I was younger.
Not sure if this one was really fault of the audience or fault of the concept. Still squeezed a +1 from me.
I find this skip morally revolting. I cannot, in good faith, upvote an article where the central plot is that the Foundation keeps billions of people in poverty in a giant attempt to keep an anomaly down. It's completely removing individual and collective autonomy from the picture and just saying "it's all the foundation's fault!" It removes the actions of thousands of actors and boiling a difficult to understand issue as income inequality into an easily digestible, morally black and white issue.
OK? I'm not saying the foundation is creating income inequality. But I am saying that they are perpetuating the inequalities foisted on the developing world and global south. The Foundation is hardly alone in doing this and at no point did I give them sole proprietorship over that particular sin. Most members of The Foundation aren't even aware of what's happening.
The point of the piece is that efforts to maintain a global system of inequality are, essentially, bound to fail one way or another. Hierarchies can't perpetuate indefinitely. Whether it's anomaly-based or not, the Foundation will, eventually fail.
I mean.. your vote is your vote but I don't think I wrote the skip that you think I wrote.