SCP-1293

Summary:

What was the worst thing about the last attempt at 1293?

SCP-1293

Celeste Morningstar 14 May 2013 04:54

The author of SCP-1293 has contacted me telling me that she can no longer find her feedback, but would like to improve her SCP. What can she do better?

Original Text (Edited versions are appreciated):

No articles in the forums -Bright.

Also, let her get her own feedback. -Still Bright

Last edited on 14 May 2013 05:27 by AdminBright Show more

Re: SCP-1293

Ihp 14 May 2013 04:55

For the love of Bugs Bunny riding SCP-682, DO NOT POST DRAFTS ON THE FORUMS. USE THE SANDBOX.

Re: SCP-1293

Djoric 14 May 2013 04:59

Either post your own stuff, get your friend to post their own stuff, or stop talking in the third person. Whichever is more appropriate in this scenario. You had a comment thread full of critiques when this was coldposted, and that was up for a full 24 hours before it was deleted.

Last edited on 14 May 2013 05:03 by Djoric Show more

Re: SCP-1293

Zyn 14 May 2013 05:24

I remember this, but a quick one-minute once-over leaves me with the following issues:

- what is anti-energy armor?
- what is anti-energy metal?
- what "religious/occult symbols" are being referred to?
- why is the SCP object referred to as the subject?
- it's rather lackluster in that it's a straight-up fallen angel. There's no unique twist to it.
- why is the object's appearance described in so much detail? Read this guide for some info on how to write humanoids.
- why is one name redacted? It's sloppy. See this guide.
- how does D-class testing reveal intelligence?
- why do you need the compulsion effect?

Basically, it's not very interesting, nor is it particularly scientifically sound.

Edit: Also, as has been stated, full drafts are not allowed on the forums, and getting someone else to post things for you is frowned upon.

Last edited on 14 May 2013 05:24 by Zyn Show more

Re: SCP-1293

Communism will win 14 May 2013 17:08

Your friend should post their own stuff. Wikidot accounts are free.

And if one/both of you had read the Deletions Guide and/or been paying attention to the thread, you would have had loads of advance notice and been able to at least copy down the critique.

Anyways, aside from the problems pointed out by Zyn, its biggest failing was a critical lack of imagination. Most of the people voting have been reading fiction for ages, and may have read over a thousand SCPs in particular. You need to take however much imagination you were putting into this and, like, double it to come up with something that we can't have seen before.

---

if your reading this your gay

Re: SCP-1293

Celeste Morningstar 15 May 2013 03:29

The friend I am refering to is the friend in the mirror, if you know what I mean. What is the sandbox and how do i use it?

Re: SCP-1293

Aelanna 15 May 2013 03:34

As the FAQ clearly mentions, the SCP Wiki is not a roleplaying site. Please don't roleplay.

As you've been linked to already, the Sandbox Wiki is a test site where you can write drafts for others to look over and critique.

A link is something like that little bit of red text where it says "Sandbox Wiki": you can click on it with your mouse cursor and it will take you to a new web-page on your internet browser that is on a different website.

Your mouse is the little thing with the buttons on it and the cord coming out the back: when you move it, that little arrow thing on your screen moves, and you can use it to point at things of interest and do things with them on your computer.

Re: SCP-1293

Ihp 15 May 2013 03:35

That's just a tad condescending, don't you think?

Re: SCP-1293

VAElynx 15 May 2013 03:40

A stupid question merits a stupid answer.

Re: SCP-1293

Celeste Morningstar 15 May 2013 23:36

I am smart enough to use a computer, and probably smarter than you. What do I do from then? Understand? P.S. I was not roleplaying, I was saying it was a friend of mine so that you would be more honest. Understand that?

Last edited on 15 May 2013 23:38 by Celeste Morningstar Show more

Re: SCP-1293

Killane 15 May 2013 23:38

I am smart enough to use a computer, and probably smarter than you.

Yeah, that's not gonna go well for you.

Re: SCP-1293

(account deleted) 16 May 2013 00:04

I am smart enough to use a computer, and probably smarter than you.

neversay that you are smarter than anyone else on this site, ever! The number one rule of this site is Wheaton's law which states these words of wisdom:

Don't be a dick!

and the fact that you are coming off as one right now due to that "clever" remark is probably going to be the reason nobody on this website is going to take you seriously, let alone keep you on the site for that matter

Re: SCP-1293

Rejekyll 15 May 2013 23:53

The instructions are right on the page, which has been linked several times. Make yourself a page, add it to the sidebar, and practice SCPs there as opposed to here.

Back in reference to the OP, my main issue is that the concept reeks of being a self-insert and isn't interesting enough to hold my attention. It uses pseudo-science and cliches in place of unique, creative content that would separate it from a mediocre fanfic in SCP format. The writing is sloppy as well. I'd suggest reading a lot more SCPs to get a better feel for what ideas do and don't work on the site. This is one that really doesn't.

Edit: The whole comment is now a link to the sandbox. The instructions are there. And if you need anything else beyond that, feel free to PM me.

Last edited on 15 May 2013 23:56 by Rejekyll Show more

Mod Post

Eskobar 16 May 2013 00:04

Well, it's been lovely, folks, but now it's time to calm the fuck down, shall we?

Celeste: You posted a bad SCP and it was deleted. You posted this thread to…I don't even know, trick people into giving you feedback thinking they would be more honest if they thought it wasn't the author reading it? I don't know what that was about. Anyway, Zyn gave you a perfectly fine series of answers and you can PM individual users if you want more information. I'm locking this thread. Also, you're not smarter than Aelanna.

Aelanna: I would normally be pissed at that level of condescension, but in this case…eh. However, in the future, you might restrict the helpful part to just the first two paragraphs, and if you have to be condescending, don't go past what's in the third paragraph, okay?

Reject: Yeah, that wasn't necessary, really.

Re: SCP-1293

Captain Cain 16 May 2013 00:02

Not really. The, uh, principles of lying don't really play a role here. I'm not going to lie to you, or your friend in the mirror. So here are two truths for you:

1. You're not as much of a not-an-idiot as you think you are.
2. That first sentence that Killane quotes? That first sentence was a really bad idea.

Last edited on 16 May 2013 00:04 by Captain Cain Show more

Re: SCP-1293

VAElynx 16 May 2013 00:03

I don't think anyone here had a problem telling you that the article was damn awful when it was first posted - honesty is really not a virtue that's lacking 'round these parts

I am smart enough to use a computer, and probably smarter than you.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

You know, if instead of crowing about how smart you are, you applied the smartness in at least following the proper process, never mind writing something that isn't an awfully cliched Marty Stu. . . which Aelanna is entirely capable of, in fact one of the most prolific writers on site, maybe people would consider taking you seriously.

Last edited on 16 May 2013 00:04 by VAElynx Show more