SCP-4036 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-4036.

page 1 of 212next »

Author Post V2

(account deleted) 18 Jul 2018 16:25

Let's watch this city burn
From the sky lies the top the world
Til there's nothing left of her
Let's watch this city burn the world

---

This was a difficult article to write. It is my second most stressful article since my first, SCP-2238. It's about many things. An island, a culture, a political and cultural relationship, everything in between. After deleting the original version off the site, I wanted to quit. I felt like a failure. But, mlister forced me into rewriting it so my work wouldn't go to waste. I hated it at the time, but if it wasn't for them, I don't know if this article would have gone back up.

+ What the hell is this thing?

I first learned about filibusters while watching this video on the historical accuracy of the William Walker movie by CynicalHistorian, an excellent educational channel. The original idea was going to be a filibuster campaign on the city of Adytite itself, which I believe in canon is in Mongolia. However, realizing it would be too unrealistic for filibusters to attack Asia (generally they were active in Latin and South America), I think it would be more believable for it to take place in Polynesia.

I had several big fears writing this thing, most important my writing of (A) the native peoples and (B) the 'colonizing force' so to speak. I didn't want the native people to just be pawns in the colonizer's game. I wanted them to be active in their destiny, in some manner or form. They were capable of rebellion just like any group of people, capable of resisting just like any group of people. And the colonizer (Norman) was a big, personal fear. I didn't want him to be a stereotypical racist person who wants to take over the world with no regard for the lives of the natives (in the beginning, at least) — that's just not a compelling or interesting character, and not accurate to real life. But at the same time, I didn't want to show him in a sympathetic light.

So, with these two fears in mind, I wrote and rewrote the article. Early drafts failed at trying to delve into this theme (imperialism/colonialism), and later ones were too bloated, until I finally settled on this new version after the previous version (posted 4000 entry) failed.¹

I hope people enjoy it. I know it won't win, but, hey, who writes an article for a contest and expects it to win?

Thank you to Kakroom, Avocadonut, Peppersghost, Othellocat, Cyantreuse, Darkstuff, and others for looking at this draft. They were a big help for making this whole thing possible, both in ideas, story progression, and general grammar. Another big thanks to Cyril, who made the sarkic.png picture above.

Thank you to Absentmindednihilist and mlister for acting as emotional support throughout this nightmare of an article.

---

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Kogoro_Uzaki.jpg
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Conness
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Rufus_King_Civil_War_General_-_Brady-Handy.jpg

Footnotes

1. Technically didn't 'fail', just as +18 with 30 or so votes. Still, a failure in my eyes for what I was intending.

Last edited on 19 Jul 2018 11:44 by (account deleted) Show more

Re: Author Post V2

(account deleted) 04 Feb 2020 13:50

For complete transparency (and because I thought it was okay due to other authors doing it) the definition for filibuster in footnote three is a modified definition taken from Wikipedia. Link here here https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filibuster_(military)

(account deleted) 18 Jul 2018 16:30

Honestly, I like the idea and all, but I don’t see how it fits into the contest theme. Neutral vote.

mlister 18 Jul 2018 16:31

Honestly, I like the idea and all, but I don’t see how it fits into the contest theme.

I have no idea how you can think this.

---

No signature defined.

(account deleted) 18 Jul 2018 16:31

Did you even read it?

No0n3Left 18 Jul 2018 16:39

Seems to fit the theme of history pretty well, talks quite a bit about the history of relations between the foundation and 4000. I like the premise, and its written pretty well. Just wish there was a bit more about what anomalies occur in it.

(account deleted) 18 Jul 2018 18:46

This is one of the most true-to-theme entries in the contest, IMO. The exposition style reads like a historical textbook. It's not just about something having to do with history, it's written with a focus on the function of the history that happened, which is exactly how history is documented in the real world. In many ways this feels very real, and only when I remind myself that anomalousness is involved do I go "oh, right, I'm not reading about an actual country right now".

Not my preferred genre of fiction, but upvote for how effective it is in that regard, especially now that some cuts have been made since the previous rendition.

MSN06S 20 Jul 2018 00:54

I'm very happy to see this back. Taylor's journal is still incredible, and the modern day citizen accounts are a highlight as well. The cuts were well-decided, too. Leaving Black Lily undetailed is definitely the better move, and the new way you present the history section fits the rest of the article much better. Awesome work, and certainly a worthy addition to the Sarkic mythos.

Jacob Conwell 22 Jul 2018 23:09

I can respect the sheer amount of worldbuilding that goes on here, as you basically build up an entire civilization and its history in this article. However, I'll be blunt in saying that the amount of exposition is a slog to get through, for what is ultimatley the little payoff of a treaty and some modern excerpts.

This article reminds me of the most of the other contest entry Garfield Minus Garfield in its attempt at authenticity. While that article has a great eye for presenting things as historical documents as well as some highly entertaining logs that put a fresh face on historical figures, this article lacks such details and what I would consider the main meat of the article (the Journal) lacks the same pop and energy and in its place has a slow burn.

I can stomach a fair amount of exposition dumping in a piece, but it is the duty of the author to keep the exposition entertaining along the way and make the mountain worth reaching the summit.

-1.

Modern_Erasmus 23 Jul 2018 06:40

I enjoyed this very much, and fond the slow burn storytelling satisfying due to the progressively growing sense of dread. The Filibusters of the 19th century are also a fascinating historical trend, so it’s cool to see those dark incidents displayed via an SCP. +1

Nederbird 23 Jul 2018 12:55

I've always liked these sorts of lengthy articles with a social studies focus. It's probably the main reason why I'm so much into Sarkicism to begin with.

Locating a band of Sarkites or para-Sarkites in Polynesia is probably one of the more novel takes on the theme. I really like the sovereign polity description, with its flag and form of government and all. Though it does feel a bit hard to believe that such a large polity would still be unknown what with the size of it, I think that's easily fixed by adding a bit about the Foundation scrubbing satellite footage to remove any traces of it.

There are a few spelling errors and odd word choices here and there that I could correct for you, if you'd like. Personally, the only thing I'm missing is more content, maybe something about those anti-Abrahamic terrorists, to highlight the anomalous and bring some attention to the brewing conflict. I really it'd make the article bloated for some readers, so I'll leave the decision up to you, though I think it might gain you that desired meat mentioned by others in these comments. :)

Regardless, I like this one, and I'm glad to see more Sarkic stuff pop up. ^^

+1

T_Kirsansky 01 Aug 2018 19:35

I always just thought of the Sarkics as nothing more than canon fodder for the CotBG to tear through but thanks for changing my mind. Although I don't think this article has the sort of earthshatteringness that sets apart 2000 and 3000, it would do absolutely marvelously as 4001.

+1

Metaphysician 24 Aug 2018 21:53

How have I missed this? I always love reading a new and clever take :)

Ogham 18 Sep 2018 01:48

Not sure about that whole "Foundation's biggest failure" part. I'd give that to Omega-7.

(account deleted) 18 Sep 2018 15:13

In universe there’s no such thing as canon, so these could possibly just not be in the same universe. However, I’ve always disliked the “no canon” excuse for things, so I’ll attempt to justify why I personally think it’s the Foundation’s biggest failure:

1. the Foundation couldn’t destroy a rogue nation that could threaten the geopolitical situation in the Pacific. Omega-7 did something horrible, ending in the death of many personnel. However, in terms of sheer overall threat to the geopolitical status quo, 4036 was a much, much bigger threat to the foundation. Failing to fully contain it wouldn’t have actually removed the threat itself, just limiting its scope and power at the moment.
2. Allowing to be strong armed by a smaller, tinier organization would have been a sign of weakness. It was not only a containment failure but a personal failure — if the foundation couldn’t contain a tiny island, what chance did they have of something much, much bigger?

These are just my reasons.

(Sorry for any spelling mistakes I’m on iPhone)

page 1 of 212next »