you can't smoke in here!
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SCP-4999 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-4999.
-1. Don't get me wrong I love it! And Ill be sure to change it to an up-vote once the 4000 contest is over, but this article just doesn't scream 4000 to me. It seems like a special spot and although your scp is a brilliant idea and ended me with tears in my eyes, it just seems too small scale to earn those three zeros. I hope you understand.
If you disagree I'd love to hear your perspective.
That is true in a way, but as the 4000 entry I think it's important in it's own way, it's small scale but it's very well written and comes with a lot of implications. I gave it a +1 but I understand why others may not, and I'm not shooting for it to win over others, but I think it deserves a chance if there's support.
This,
Is "the" most incredible Keter I have ever saw in the entire website.
I know, I love the idea of an SCP that kind of just quietly sits with someone before they die. 10/10 good boy SCP.
I agree. I wonder if he just exists, or if he is death itself.
What?! A short 4k entry?! And… and it's making me feel things…
+1, this is good. I don't smoke and I'd probably light up with this guy. I mean, I'd be dying anyways.
The emotions don't do much for me, but this:
It is not currently understood how pre-modern cultures would have been capable of detecting SCP-4000.
This does.
That was a gut-punch of emotions, but in a good way. You once again find a way to make me feel things through words alone.
+1
Huh. I don't feel like this is a good contest entry, the theme's not really strong enough. On its own merits, it feels very similar to, albeit far more personal than, Lily's 001 proposal. That said, what's really keeping me from voting is the final addendum hammering home "It's the Grim Reaper, but modernized!" Like, I could figure that out myself, c'mon.
you've got a point. i took my shears to the last bit and made it a bit less obvious.
my aim here was to give a nod to the people that history will never recognize or remember. a kind of quieter counterpoint to the loudness and aggrandizement that you get in all the famous stories about heroes and geniuses throughout the past. but i might not have done it deftly enough to grab everyone.
maybe i'll get you on the next one. :c
So… is it a psychopomp, here to escort the dead to whatever comes next? Or more of an angel that watches over the lonely and forgotten?
To be honest i thought this was kindness but then i saw the tags. really enjoyed it though.
If the moon blinks, run!
- is unmarried or otherwise lacks a significant other
- is nonreligious
- displays a history of mental illness
- has no criminal record, or has never been convicted of a violent crime
- has little to no social standing in their community
- does not exhibit any record of significant professional or personal accomplishments
- has few to no mutually beneficial interpersonal relationships
Seems like I'll be seeing him (relatively) soon.
I wasn't expecting this to be so emotionally powerful.
Easy +1.
You had me with the feels up until the last bit. The fact that the entity appears in the past with the full modern get-up just feels kind of silly. If we are led to believe that the entity exists throughout all of human history (including into the future), why then does it choose to take on the appearance of a human wearing clothes from the last 50 or so years? It's well written and all but the whole "lit cigarette and dark suit" thing seems like a cheap cliche. There must be better ways to exude melancholy and mystery without the need for late 20th century noir iconography.
Not that there should be any justification, as it works best being a mystery. I just think its cliched.
I’m going to echo Octagonic here. The last few paragraphs killed pretty much the entirety of the momentum this piece had for me.
If I were the one writing this, I’d replace those paragraphs with an addendum where a Foundation D-class is dying or something and the SCP appears to him. The D-class, somehow, tells him "I don’t want to die" and then the SCP just gives him a hug.
What I’m trying to say is, this needs a punch line to work for me as a short skip. Until then, I’m going to leave with a novote.
Edit: actually, axe this, this is better than most of the 4kon entries I’ve upvoted so far. Belated and well deserved upvote.
+1 from me, you did a great job conveying emotion in such a simple way.
This is really the one SCP I'd be sure to meet if they existed.
+1
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page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
