Goddamnit, why must you hit my soft spot for broadcasts?
+1
SCP-1592 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-1592.
Three things:
- Fusing together of body parts. (fingers, toes, etc.)
I'm not sure, but I think that could be better phrased as "Fusion of body parts(fingers, toes, ect.)."
Later physical alterations often involve the morphing of the body into decidedly non-humanoid forms, often causing the victim to become immobile.
I also feel this could be better phrased, possibly: "Later physical alterations often involve morphing of the body into non-humanoid forms, usually resulting in immobility."
The picture, while creepy, doesn't seem very appropriate for the SCP. Why are the faces hanging on meat hooks?
Otherwise, not bad. Neutral vote.
I really enjoyed the part about Jenny, because it reminds me of some actual televangelists. However, the bit at the end with all the "I have seen these horrible apocalyptic things and will narrate what I saw in a grandiose way" has been done a lot before and feels a bit cliche.
I've been to the steel mills of Alaska, and the cornfields of Nebraska. I've seen the derelict offices of Google burn with the window boarded up and the squatters inside them. I've seen the houses where they cut up the little babies. From coast to shining coast I have walked empty down drooling path <indecipherable> The decaying flesh of false morality poisoning our children. I have stood atop the mountain of this greedy earth, looking upon our beautiful pious pit, filled to bursting with the vast hands of helplessness. And did you know what I saw? Hell.
This is just one of the ones I remember clearly.
I had my face this close to the screen when I clicked on this. Damn, that picture….
Bravo, +1
When I first opened the page, I was concerned that the article would be overly reliant on the image. I was pleased to find that this wasn't the case, you did an excellent job constructing this skip, and I believe it could stand on its own even without the image.
(account deleted)I like the idea behind the last transcript - I'm a sucker for that concept, and I liked the first line - but it wasn't done well enough or differently enough to work for me. :(
I've made some changes to the last transcript. Hopefully it's an improvement!
The new version is definitely an improvement for me. +1
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page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06