SCP-4005 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-4005.

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Tufto 02 Jul 2018 11:51

Sweeping cobwebs from the edges of my mind
Had to get away to see what we could find
Hope the days that lie ahead
Bring us back to where they've led
Listen not to what's been said to you

Would you know we're riding
On the Marrakesh Express
Would you know we're riding
On the Marrakesh Express
All on board that train

---

(Thanks to LordStonefish for the music suggestion)

After my incredibly depressing 001, here's something optimistic for the 4K about human agency.

With thanks to the following:

modernmajorgeneral
GermanderBassist
Modern Erasmus¹
Roget
Neptune

The image is licensed to one Mike Prince, and can be found under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license here. It has been modified by me in order to make it look like a much older photo.

N.B.: This was originally entitled "A Lantern for Kashgar".

You can find more of my stuff here.

Footnotes

1. Special credit here because, as he pointed out to me during crit, this draft is exceptionally similar to an idea that he and I were going to collab on, which I somehow did not realise (probably because I changed this from being about creation/destruction to utopia/cynicism halfway through) and which I'm still feeling extremely bad about. Next time I swear I will pay closer attention to what I'm doing! :p.

Last edited on 12 Feb 2019 12:14 by Tufto Show more

LordStonefish 02 Jul 2018 13:55

Pack it up boys we're done here.

Last edited on 02 Jul 2018 14:07 by LordStonefish Show more

TL333s 02 Jul 2018 18:58

Interesting object to slap an Apollyon onto.

The journal from the author, whoof, that sent me down a dozen Wikipedia rabbit holes, and now I know that 'algorithm' is derived from a misspelling of al-Khwarizmi's name. Fatima's story is pretty compelling, but the dialogue in the second interview starts reaching melodramatic levels by the end.

Really have to wonder what D-2072 saw there. c.c

And the link to 3000 happened at just the right point, when I was thinking this was something of an inversion of the eel.

I don't know that I have a final word on this, though.

Tenthyr 02 Jul 2018 19:21

I like this, a lot. The imagery is fun, but I can't really share the opinion that this is a positive ending— Or at least, that humans are actually able to be 'happy' all the time. It reeks to me of a lotus eater machine, and honestly I don't think you intended it but that made this a very creeping kind of horror to me, because it's easy to know you'd fall into it too.

I love how this and your 001 are inverses of one another, but both based from a sort of… Rejection of the mechanics of reality. The former chooses to find and endless dream, while the latter chooses to crush hope because then the pain is at least expected.

Last edited on 02 Jul 2018 19:24 by Tenthyr Show more

NanayaMode 02 Jul 2018 22:09

A pessimist's interpretation of an optimistic skip:

SCP-4000 is actually the lure of an extradimensional anglerfish. Humanity just walked into its belly.

Dargoo Faust 03 Jul 2018 22:55

http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-2640

*X-Files theme plays*

NanayaMode 03 Jul 2018 23:56

…A little more literal and less extradimensional than what I was thinking…

Tufto 04 Jul 2018 00:04

Mm, I did want this to be a possibility, even if the narrative does very much point to the opposite interpretation :p.

EDIT:

Tufto's 5k Spoilers

OK I had completely forgotten that this comment existed until Sterbai pointed this out to me. I genuinely have no idea if this was some subconscious thing I buried until the idea came to me again or if this was a freaky, freaky coincidence.

So, um. Yeah. Huh.

Last edited on 15 Jan 2020 20:26 by Tufto Show more

Un-fisico 27 Oct 2018 18:09

This gotcha would have worked if it weren't specifically hinted at in the text (the part of the interview where the two discuss trust.)

Blergh 03 Jul 2018 03:52

Lovely :)

I dont know if it's just me but it is nice to see an SCP take place outside the USA for a change, and in such a colorful and vivid fashion as well. The presence of Cairo and Marrakesh is lovely, reminding me a bit of the Bioshock franchise for a second, and how the author makes it sound like these cities could be the center of the entire universe somehow.

I'm not entirely sold on the interviews though, and idk if it was intentional or not but I think I saw some grammar errors here and there. Maybe give it a read when you're not tired and see if you find something. Or maybe i'm the tired one that sees shit that's not there.

+1

GynoGriff 03 Jul 2018 13:52

I do like that you've managed to do a wholesome Apollyon, and that the wholesomeness isn't revealed until the very end. And Addendum 6 was a very nice way of showing how the effects were escalating. But I didn't find this very fun to read at all. It was all just a bit dull. Theres a lot of well written imagery/ world building, but I struggled not to skip over the diary entries and in the end they didn't seem to add much to the story. Also the project lead being the last person to be affected by it, and Mahmoud's 'pilgrimage' being to convert the project lead, while kind of explained seemed a bit forced.

Perhaps it being both an Apollyon and an x000 contest entry has set my expectations too high and I'm being a bit harsh. Will give this another read as the contest draws on but for now its a -1

daveyoufool 05 Jul 2018 18:19

An Apollyon with a happy ending? Hell, now I’ve seen everything.

Take my +1 and shaddup.

Jojo S Goodwin 06 Jul 2018 13:28

I really liked this one right up until the ending.
I was with you all the way but the last bit after the population percentage logs felt flat and kind of out of place for me.

+ contains spoilers

In the last part SCP-4000-1A says basically the exact same thing shes already said once before, only for some unexplained this time it convinces Dr Hardcastle to follow her which I thought was very out of character considering her speech about not believing in anything.

It's a no vote from me but I would have upvoted if it ended after the O5 council were converted, for me that would have felt more like a more realistic punchy ending.

Also I'd suggest removing Addendum 3 23/01/28, it doesn't add anything in terms of world building or plot, even after finding out the true functionality of SCP-4000 this part just seems like additional unnecessary information on random D-class just for the sake of padding.

Last edited on 06 Jul 2018 13:33 by Jojo S Goodwin Show more

Golden506 08 Jul 2018 02:36

I feel that the word count was a little higher than it needed to be, but the ending was worth the literary marathon leading up to it.

+1

Last edited on 08 Jul 2018 02:38 by Golden506 Show more

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