You still have some SCP-XXX's in there.
I am skeptical of the presence of the fact it now communicates. I kind of liked thinking it was a kind of automaton for something that no longer exists. It would've had the same fruitless, relentless effort of a life-support machine attached to a corpse. Except it is a dollmaker who makes dolls for a child that is no longer. Giving fuel to a childhood that is no more.
You diiiig? But, hm, all of the other things I feel muddles it up. Like the interview log, etc.
I feel that in order to achieve the effect you may be looking for (if it is the same one I described earlier in my post) you may have to cut out the things that are trying to draw the reader in with. It is the simplicity of language that distances childhood book from reader, but it is also that distance that reminds the reader of a pretty fantasy childhood that they cannot exist in, that they can only imagine about, and to spark a reader's imagination is a great and lovely thing.
(account deleted) 16 Feb 2013 20:32
