SCP-1971 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-1971.

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Eskobar 06 Feb 2013 03:37

Your concept interests me, even if it is a little close to SCP-1173. But the execution is lacking; above and beyond grammar things (is Danhorn Iowa some strange alternate version of Iowa? Commatize thyself, foo'), the article is too short to pull off the conceit you're shooting for. You have to bury the lede a little bit.

What's interesting is that the places where you get a little more audacious — namely, the second item in containment — you don't fully explain the connection. The book has no connection to the town other than having been in the library, and yet nobody knows about it. If the library had the entire bibliography of Stephen King and the Bible, would there be no Langoliers or Christianity right now?

It's not a good article, but some polish could turn it into a very, very good article, if one similar to ones that have been done already.

EDIT: You know you don't have to include a picture div table if you don't have a picture, right?

DOUBLE EDIT: I MEANT SAMOTHRACE NOT BEAUREMONT DAMMIT

Last edited on 06 Feb 2013 04:36 by Eskobar Show more

Looks like it went live before I was done

qwisatz 06 Feb 2013 03:48

This is my first time with this editor. I assume I should have left it draft until I got all the bells and whistles working. It took me a while to figure out the photo upload procedure. I'll read SCP-1171 and try updating to address some of your comments.

Trinitite 06 Feb 2013 03:38

I actually really like this, simply because it has no big twist. Just a few memories of a town that may or may not exist, like a song you can't quite remember. And no way to tell whether the town was erased from history, generated as a suggestion in people's minds, or something else.

Last edited on 06 Feb 2013 03:43 by Trinitite Show more

Communism will win 06 Feb 2013 03:50

I really dig this style of sparseness for some reason. Keep working on it, though. I'm sure people who are more iffy on it will be able to point out things that I glossed over (such as Eskofart).

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if your reading this your gay

Mister Man 06 Feb 2013 03:53

Not to sound picky, but shouldn't Danhorn Iowa be Danhorn, Iowa?

Last edited on 06 Feb 2013 03:54 by Mister Man Show more

qwisatz 06 Feb 2013 04:03

Yes, I have been schooled on commas this day. Should be fixed with the exception of the photo, which would not have one.

StevenThePotato 06 Feb 2013 04:28

I do like this, but the anomalous effect is introduced quite late (in the addendum). I would move that piece out of the addendum and put it into the description, personally. It is well-written and interesting though, so +1.

qwisatz 06 Feb 2013 20:08

Thanks for the positive and constructive feedback, I moved the anomalous effect forward.

Eridiumwolf 06 Feb 2013 04:34

This idea is actually pretty interesting.
Plus it's not another tale or something like that, it feels like those are flooding in right now.

Goodwill 06 Feb 2013 22:30

That's cause of the New Year's contest, son.

rumetzen 07 Feb 2013 00:38

You got a problem with tales punk?

Eridiumwolf 07 Feb 2013 02:53

I like reading tales. It's just that when so many pop up at once, it gets a bit destructive and confusing.

MayD 06 Feb 2013 04:34

I like it. It reminds me of paper towns. Mapmakers put fake towns into a map. If they see another map with the same fake town, they know that that map is plagiarized off of their map.

Djoric 06 Feb 2013 19:25

Downvoted, because okay, it's a town that doesn't exist, I can dig that. But then nothing happens. Two encrypted text messages? Not frightening. In fact, they kill any creep for me because they are pretty much big neon signs for HEY LOOK A CONSPIRACY.

And, there's nothing particularly interesting about the location, except maybe that bit about the diner.

And finally, it really feels like the categorization is wrong. The scip here is not the three items. Those aren't anomalous. The anomaly is the fact that we have a town that does/doesn't exist. That should be the scip.

Last edited on 06 Feb 2013 19:26 by Djoric Show more

qwisatz 06 Feb 2013 19:39

Do others agree that the SCP should be the missing town instead of the items in the box? I can make that happen.

Drewbear 06 Feb 2013 20:11

I think it could go either way, actually. I mean, the Foundation actually HAS the items, whereas the town can't be located.

Also, I rather like that this is built on mysteriousness rather than scare. It makes it suitably different from Samothrace, which handles the same core concept (does it really exist?) but goes for the paranoia angle instead.

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Giving bearhugs to the unsuspecting since 1872.

Pig_catapult 07 Feb 2013 00:27

Agreeing with Drewbear on all counts.

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Piffy is an SCP Foundation Moderator, Lv. 9001 Squishy Wizard, and Knight of the Red Pen.

Last edited on 07 Feb 2013 00:27 by Pig_catapult Show more

Dr Cuddles 07 Feb 2013 02:34

To me, it's OK like that. The objects contained are the three items, so that's what the containment procedure should be about.

Floofy Dwagon 06 Feb 2013 21:10

This seemed to be a calmer kind of SCP, and an unusual one too! I did enjoy it, and it made a change to the usual mega creepy stuff. +1 from me!

Goodwill 06 Feb 2013 22:34

Not bad. I agree with Scantron on the style. The article doesn't quite spark my intrigue, though. No vote.

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