SCP-3646 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-3646.

Author Post

IAmTheOoga 08 Jun 2018 15:56

My third article! I came up with the concept when I thought, "What would be pretty much the worst thing ever?"
The obvious answer was mosquitos that you can't kill because they'll get worse if you do. Plus that feeling when you think there's a bug on you so you go into hulk mode but it turns out it was nothing. Plus the sound of mosquitos in your ear. Mosquitos in general, actually.

Thanks to Fingo7, Leveritas and Father Croppy for feedback!

…Now to go make a really stupid author page if this is well-recieved.

rubberchickenzilla 08 Jun 2018 16:18

I'm not sure about this. It's well written and the stages are interesting, but the interview feels a bit awkwardly shoved in at the end. Plus I have to keep scrolling back up to remember what each stage is. Have you read 3312? The way that article integrates the example of the stage into the description of the stage itself is wonderful. Maybe consider reworking your structure so it's "read stage: read interview excerpt" etc.

Beyond that, I'm not a huge fan of "TYPING IN ALL CAPS DIALOGUE" in the middle of an interview. This is being typed up by a Foundation transcriber, I don't think they'd do that. Maybe just a "[shouting]" if you really think exclamation marks aren't enough.

I'm going to no-vote for now, but I do really like the voice you have for the Foundation.

EDIT: And with the update I'm going to +1!

Last edited on 08 Jun 2018 17:31 by rubberchickenzilla Show more

IAmTheOoga 08 Jun 2018 17:20

Ooh, that's a neat idea. I think I'll try that. Thanks for feedback, dude!

Update: I did it. You were right, it is a lot more interesting to read now, as each new stage is revealed slowly, so as you read the interviews you don't know what is going to happen next.

Last edited on 08 Jun 2018 17:29 by IAmTheOoga Show more

sometaters 08 Jun 2018 16:21

I hate this article very much. Easy +1

On a serious note, I particuarly liked the stages listed when someone is infected. It's a special kind of horror that isn't going to stop me from killing mosquitoes or gnats, but I'll definitely remember it for a while.

Jim North 08 Jun 2018 19:15

Where you put "androgynous", did you perhaps mean "sexless"? Androgyny is really just appearance based, while sexless means to actually not have a sex.

IAmTheOoga 08 Jun 2018 19:48

Thanks, fixed

TL333s 09 Jun 2018 01:08

Keeter skeeters live on the mainlist! I think you absolutely captured the feeling you were going for with this. :)

AndrewOBT 09 Jun 2018 03:14

Interspersing the interview with the stages was absolutely the right move and made this pleasantly punchy. Well done.

Wyrmwoods 09 Jun 2018 03:24

Great mix of squick and drama! That final log is a little heavy in the …'s but otherwise it's a solid damn read!

Easy +1

Fingo7 10 Jun 2018 10:25

I never saw that this was up! >W< This has improved greatly since I last saw it, well done +1