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SCP-3568 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-3568.
Really enjoyed this and am looking forward to future edits of this SCP. Great job!
Really close to an upvote, here. This is neat, but there are issues. For instance, Addendum A is overly redacted, to the point of illegibility of the second part.
If anything's keeping me from upvoting, it's the interview, which is very "author speaking through the characters" and honestly rather dry. There's a lot of explaining going on here, like telling us the relationship between stage 3 and the density of osmium. Or that osmium is the densest yadda yadda, that's something people can look up and find out themselves.
And I suppose I'm a little put out that this only suggests a path forward at the end. Like, I want to know what happens with a lot of those tests, not just whether or not they've been approved. That might be outside the scope of the story you're trying to tell, though, so don't take that as criticism.
So I get that there's some sort of signal coming deliberately from Draugr to Earth that these people receive when they view the image. The vocalized number is the subject's age on Draugr, and the imprinted number is like… an accession number for humans on Earth. And then there's another signal that causes a human to fold into a cube?
This SCP is very creative and well written and creepy (+1), but I'm not sure what the big picture is. How does the planet - or how do the beings on the planet know Earthlings have nicknamed it Draugr? What are they trying to tell us, or what are they trying to learn?
I really like some if not most of the ideas, but some issues exist:
The interview reads more like the "educational dialogue" in textbooks, halfway through I started calling them Alice and Bob for that reason, while it is a manner to present info in a less dry manner, I think this fails to get it the "living" feeling.
I like open endings, but this feels like a tease, I personally really want the results, not even of all of them, the pending ones could still be pending and there wouldn't have to be a analysis of the results if you want to keep them open to interpretation.
The comparison with osmium probably doesn't help most readers as not a lot of people know that, it's useful in saying it's denser than pretty much all elements, but adding a comparison to lead or water or similar would give it a tangible weight for most.
The last 2 are more persobal preference things though.
I'll check back soon and see how I'll vote, but it's either +1 or no vote.
The skip was doing well right until it got to the conversation. I kid you not, it must be one of the most unnatural info-dumpy conversations on the site. You made no effort to make it natural sounding or believable, it reads as a transcript of an infomercial and I can't upvote the piece after having seen it
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page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06