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Thanks to everyone who contributed with advice, help and explanation. Unfortunately I am not a person to remember names and it has been a few months since I started this. So my thanks is to everyone. Even those who stop by only to downvote. Your opinions matter to me.
EDIT: Thanks to DrScaramouche for helping with some of the parts and overall for help on perfecting the SCP.
The final Addendum feels a tad extraneous, but otherwise an interesting little entry.
+1
I thought this was just going to be an inspirational poster but a window. +1 for not doing exactly what I expected. Though the quotation marks at the begining of some sentences are a bit odd, don’t know what’s up with that.
No-vote. I liked the concept, but this needs more editing to fix obvious grammatical and phrasing errors. Additionally, it feels underdeveloped as a whole.
The last addendum felt really contrived. My first thought upon getting the gist of the entry was "oh wow, the Foundation could totally use this for intelligence and scientific purposes." I assume that the last bit was added to address the dearth of that material, but I don't think that it was convincing enough to succeed.
Novote for the moment. Would you like help with making this sound more naturally English? I'd be happy to go through and edit/give you suggestions. Just on the wording and such, not the idea.
Yes! I would be happy if somone helped me. Feel free to give suggestions in any way you see fit. Thanks for the willingness.
My pleasure. I'll try to work on it tonight, or tomorrow.
I have a basic grammar/spelling/"naturalization" edit of the SCP done.
Right now, I'm working on a slight modification of it to fit with tone & standard SCP-ness. I can show you the first edit if you like.
I really like the threat level concept that, I think is being tried? +1
A lot of authors strongly disagree with the idea of threat levels.
They don't add any narrative depth (in my opinion) like an object class does. It's just a straightforward "this is how dangerous it is!" which always leaves me feeling a bit irritable off the bat.
Don't tell me how dangerous it is, show me. Let me realize why this thing is bad news bears for humanity.
It's more of an aesthetic and a screw you to the established format imo
Makes articles look that much better
If it works as an idea, it works; I don't take issue with it. But doing it as a "screw you" to the established format is petty childishness.
I highly doubt that's how the author here intended it to be taken, however.
I am very supprised that this triggered such a response. It was just me trying to put the idea of threat level into it because I kind of like it, there is nothing extra deep about it.
Two issues I have with this:
1) Why is it Safe? Euclid or even Keter seems more appropriate given the fact SCP-3423-1 can appear anywhere.
2)
In a seemingly random interval ranging from 3 to 24 hours, the location of SCP-3423-1 will instantly change.
Note: Neither the interval of change nor the location is random.
Shouldn't the first sentence be crossed-out, or replaced by the note? Also, does SCP-3423-1 still change location if no-one is near it? Because if that's the case, then that would make the note only partially correct.
You know what? Those are actually really valid points…
1) I guess I just wanted to make a relatively harmless SCP and I failed to realise it's full potential. However I think that if anything, it should be a Euclid.
2) The decision to keep it as a note was a simple one, I think I prefer it in this case rather than a crossed out sentence but that might be just me.
For the second question, I don't know. That idea never really crossed my mind. Maybe you have to leave something to the mystery.
Thanks for reading.
I probably didn't make myself clear in the second issue. These two sentences:
In a seemingly random interval ranging from 3 to 24 hours, the location of SCP-3423-1 will instantly change.
Note: Neither the interval of change nor the location is random.
Contradict each other.
Changed the image because it wasn't wiki compliant. Hope this new one is okay.
Noting that the image comes from here and is cc-compliant with the SCP wiki’s license (CC BY-SA 3.0).
Mm Mm Good
