This is my first attempt at an SCP.
Give me your best shot, I can take it, I'll only cry a little bit.
SCP-1283 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-1283.
Didn't really dig it until the log, then I upvoted. I think I would like it more of it was explicit that this in no way is telling the future, that the predictions are nonsensical and unrelated to reality.
Same here.
Piffy is an SCP Foundation Moderator, Lv. 9001 Squishy Wizard, and Knight of the Red Pen.
Unfortunately I couldn't think of a way to make that clearer without making it sound like "The Foundation monitored literally everything and found that nothing changed anywhere."
If you have suggestions, I welcome them.
A simple sentence like "Researchers have yet to find any correlation between predictions made by SCP-1283 and actual events." should work. The Foundation isn't ruling out the possibility, but the audience reading it will get the hint.
A sort of interesting concept with some lackluster execution. The way you listed the objects effect killed the flow, and it felt very awkward overall.
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!
Flow was something I struggled with throughout this SCP's creation and revisions. I regret not being able to make it work a bit better, but nothing I tried was able to balance flow with clarity.
I'm confused. Is SCP-1283-01 the radio and -02 the voice, or is -01 the voice and -02 the conversation itself?
Otherwise, I like the idea. Maybe a bit more work is needed to fix any confusion or tone issues.
SCP-1283 is the radio itself, -01 is the voice, -02 is the conversation.
Ok… I already doubt that the voice should even be considered a separate entity (though I can see it working like that), so the conversation being separate from the voice just seems silly to me. Just my opinion.
I like the overall concept, mind-altering things always creep me out. Also,
Testing has observed SCP-1283-1 belonging to….. on one occasion, a news anchor from the ██████ Network….. The voice chosen by SCP-1283-1 belongs to whoever the subject considers to be the most trustworthy
Am I the only one who finds this slightly funny?
I have an inexplicable liking for this. It might be because I just woke up though.
Living the dream, or dreaming the life?
Just to be safe, don't read it again later. Wouldn't want to spoil it.
Haha, I hear ya.
Living the dream, or dreaming the life?
This is alright. No vote for now, criticism below.
remarkably little
Poor tone.
long-since
Poor tone.
Do you remember
Should be a question mark here.
cryptic, meaningless
Poor tone.
incredibly dangerous,
Poor tone.
above average calm and reason
I don't know if "above average reason" is a thing.
panic situations
Again, don't know if that's a thing.
inconsolable, and displays
Unnecessary comma.
Test logs in general
I would recommend de-capitalizing "Subject" and placing "the" before it. It reads weird.
Overall, I feel like this has been done before, but this is still original and interesting enough to pull it off. However, the tone errors hold it back. I'll upvote when those are fixed.
Poor tone.
Fixed. Now reads "very little."
Poor tone.
Fixed. Removed.
Should be a question mark here.
Unless I'm mistaken, no there shouldn't, because the sentence does not end there. Feel free to correct me.
Poor tone.
Those are descriptions of the nature of the warnings. If you know more clinical synonyms, I welcome them.
Poor tone.
Fixed. Removed "incredibly."
I don't know if "above average reason" is a thing.
Altered to read "reasoning abilities."
Again, don't know if that's a thing.
It is. Situations that cause panic. Containment breaches, D-Class riots, what have you.
Unnecessary comma.
Removed.
I would recommend de-capitalizing "Subject" and placing "the" before it. It reads weird.
I feel it reads oddly as "the subject." Opinions, etc.
Can I ask what this reminds you of? If it's been done before I want to ensure I've differentiated myself enough.
Reminds me of that sheep liver ritual thing with the telemarketer voice from a week or two ago, but I think it's different enough to stand on its own. Well done for a first article.
I like the steady and vaguely ritualistic nature of this. The last log seems a bit iffy, though. I don't feel like this object should be trying to escape.
I wasn't exactly shooting for "trying to escape," just more of a "oh it has more awareness of things than we thought."
/forum/t-598362/scp-1283#post-
page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
