It's fine, but I can't shake the feeling of Unlondon. No vote. What would be super cool is if there was a crossover or something
if your reading this your gay
SCP-1628 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-1628.
SCP-1628 appears to be in a perpetual night, possibly due to its location.
"My god, why does it always seem like night down here?"
"I have a theory. Maybe…and just hear me out because this shit is convoluted…it's because we're underground."
"What makes you think we're underground?"
"Oh, probably that big underground tunnel we took to get here."
"Hmm. Possibly. Note to self: is it possible there's no sun underground?"1
I:
In additon, 10 figures wearing period-appropriate British Army guard will briefly appear while SCP-1628 is active.
addition and garb
II:
Entities will communicate with outside subjects, indicating a suspicion that they will be attacked by the British if General Jackson is unable to stop them.
You know Jackson was nowhere near Washington during the sacking, right? I think he was slaughtering and robbing Red Stick Indians in Alabama around this time. Is there a reason for the inaccuracy?
III:
The James Madison facsimile will communicate with outside subjects
Also nowhere near Washington. He was wandering around the Virginia countryside on horseback during the raid. He got out well before the British got near the city itself.
IV: Dolley. Her name was Dolley Madison. Dolly Madison is a company that makes snack cakes.
V: Not that you're technically required to say, but…where the fuck is this? It's "under a salt mine" somewhere, but there's no reason not to mention the geographical location of the salt mine. I think most or all other SCPs in fixed locations mention where the location is, even if it's redacted.
VI: Just caught this:
Once every 12 hours
This active phase lasts for 4 hours, followed by the 12 hour "cooldown" phase.
So it's once every sixteen hours?
Gotta downvote unless convinced otherwise.
Footnotes
1. exploration footage: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqADHn7SWlA
I got away with V on SCP-1246 and nobody noticed. Then again, I never technically specified that it was immobile >.> Point is, I figure the in-character people reading the files should be used to not knowing where the hell anything is, so the lack of a location for it is fine by me.
Anyways, your other points are valid, just thought I'd take exception to that one.
if your reading this your gay
The historical inaccuracies were intentional, whoever created this SCP had a limited and imperfect understanding of the War of 1812.
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!
"My god, why does it always seem like night down here?"
"I have a theory. Maybe…and just hear me out because this shit is convoluted…it's because we're underground."
I love you
I really like this. The idea of an Chthulhoid, chthonic horror recreating the raid on Washington DC in the War of 1812 using clockwork men for some insane, ineffable reason is awesome.
One fiddly bit: In the article, it says that at 1 hour, Andrew Jackson bot will show up warning of the raid, and at 2 hours, another Andrew Jackson-bot will show up at the White House and begin conversing with… himself. Is one of them supposed to be Madison? Or is it just that anachronistic.
Madison-Bot didn't appear, so he was talking to dead air and pretending Madison-Bot was there.
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!
I meant, specifically, this
1:00 - 2:00 Entity resembling Andrew Jackson will appear from a hatch somewhere within SCP-1628, and will claim that an attack by the British army is imminent. Approximately 11 entities will volunteer to defend SCP-1628.
2:00 - 3:00 Entity resembling Andrew Jackson will emerge from the White House reproduction and begin directing the construction of battlements within SCP-1628. Dolly Madison will also emerge, carrying an empty picture frame. The James Madison facsimile will communicate with outside subjects, however the Dolly Madison has only been noted to wander SCP-1628 aimlessly.
Notice the Andrew Jacksons in both sections.
It was later discovered by the Foundation that the entire setup was part of of a plot by grumpy old historians to conquer the universe.
Some grammatical errors scattered through this one, along with a few awkwardly phrased sentences (you seem to have fixed the spelling errors):
In the event that the entities within SCP-1628 attempts to breach containment, or other forces from outside SCP-1628's area attempt to destroy it, the entrance is to be sealed via the collapse of the mineshaft leading to it, with no attempts at excavation until 130 days after the last known SCP-1628 activity.
Would probably be better as: "In the event of an attempted containment breach, either by SCP-1628 entities or outside forces, the entrance to the anomaly is to be collapsed via detonation of pre-placed explosives. No excavation is to be attempted within 130 days of the last known SCP-1628 activity."
approximately .4 kilometres
Why not just say 400 meters?
Only 5 entities have unique appearances, being the reproductions of historical figures: Andrew Jackson, James Madison, Dolly Madison, Lord Liverpool and a figure not corresponding to any individual known as "The General."
That reads as though there is an individual known as 'The General' and the figure in question doesn't correspond to a description of it. Whereas what it seems like you're actually trying to say is that the fifth figure doesn't correspond to historical descriptions of anyone in particular, and has therefore been given the nickname 'The General'. Try: "and a figure not known to correspond to any individual in particular, currently labelled by staff as 'The General'."
Actually, while we're here: has he been given that designation by the Foundation? Or is that what the SCP-1628 entities call him? It's not really clear.
Also, you only use double quotation marks ("") when you're actually quoting someone. Here, use single ones - 'The General' vs. "The General".
the sacking of Washington D.C that took place during the War of 1812.
You can get safely rid of 'that took place'. The sentence reads better without it.
A question about the large, circular thing: did we go in and try and get it? If not, why not? It was there for three days.
It was too big to take through the entrance, and the entity snatched it before we could.
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!
Oh my god, its a 'kid' playing with his 'models', isn't it? 'He' removed that one model 'cause it was doing things it shouldn't be doing!
I use air quotes because these aren't necessarily the best words to use (Sort of like, well.. "*Silly Camper*! You think orz is *many bubbles*, but Orz is *fingers*!"), but I think they sort of convey the vibe I'm getting.
The article itself is quirky, amusing, and worthy of an upvote.
By the end of the addenda, I was crapping myself. The idea that these things, however aware they are in general, maintain that level of awareness at all times and are continually performing the same reenactment for the amusement of some thing that can unmake them at will gave me chills.
An interesting concept brought down by poor showing of intention. I'm not going to vote, but I will say that it reminds me of a bad episode of the Twilight Zone.
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page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
