This is a rewrite of the previous SCP-869, by TorrentGamer. He suggested that I rework his original to take it in a different direction than he had, and this is what I came up with.
SCP-869 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-869.
At first I was put off by the combination of amusement parks and time travel, two elements which are hardly new to the Foundation. But it's solidly crafted, as always, and the gimmick amused me, so I'll upvote.
Held my attention for the entire article, grinned like a motherfucker when I figured it out, upvoted.
if your reading this your gay
Supertastic Carnival Promotions, a Foundation front company
Is this a thing now in which foundation fronts are SCP in initials?
SCP-869 is to remain closed to park staff and the public and is to be monitored from both ends by Foundation personnel operating as park security officers for the purpose of preventing unauthorized access.
This sentence is really long and has two "ands" which is rarely a good sign. Any way this could maybe be split? 'SCP-XXX is to remain closed to the park staff and the public. Both sides of SCP-XXX are to be monitored by Foundation personnel operating as park security officers for the purpose of preventing unauthorized access'?
Survey personnel are to be dressed in clothing appropriate to late 1940s mainstream American fashion and are to carry no more than ten dollars in pre-1948 US currency, as well as period-appropriate identification badges identifying them as local police, FBI agents, or Foundation personnel as necessary to facilitate interaction with park officials
Really, really long sentence. Maybe the 'as well as' part can be a period or something instead of a comma with more stuff tacked on?
The area that persons so afflicted arrive at, based on forensic analysis of photographs taken by survey teams, is physically identical to the original pleasure pier constructed on the site, as it existed in the summer of 1948.
I… I don't like all these commas. I really don't.
In all surveys conducted since the discovery of SCP-869's properties, interviews with civilians found within the anomaly and evidence recovered in the form of calendars and newspapers indicate that the date within the anomaly is Saturday, July 24th, 1948, █ years after the original pleasure pier opened for business, and that the time of day within the anomaly is consistent with the time of day outside it.
Holy long sentences batman…
To corroborate his claims, he demonstrated knowledge of a wide variety of Foundation protocols, security procedures, and objects currently in containment, and made several claims regarding world events to occur later in the 20th century and SCP objects not currently known to the Foundation and/or not currently in Foundation custody.
This sentence has not one, two, but a total of four "and"s in it. I do not like. Surely there is a less run-oning way of saying this.
Other than these sentences, I like it, so upvoting but please fix these.
Living the dream, or dreaming the life?
Is this a thing now in which foundation fronts are SCP in initials?
It is for me, at least. I've probably made up like ten front companies whose names are abbreviated SCP; Southern Chomolungma Portage, Southside Commisary Products, Sanford Chemical Processing, Springfield Crown Publishing, etc.
Hilarity.
Living the dream, or dreaming the life?
So, you know how, classically, vampires spell their names backwards to prevent anyone from figuring out it's really them? The Foundation's kinda similar.
I was thinking more along the lines of the Simpsons episode where Marge mentions to Homer that the Pizza Delivery truck has been parked out front for three days- and it immediately drives away, only for a Flowers By Irene truck to take its place.
For a moment, I thought somebody else wrote this thing instead of smapti. I was about to raise my torch and pitchfork in the air until I read the comment. Thanks for doing the SCP by the way! Upvote for making my shit SCP good.
/forum/t-594812/scp-869#post-
page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
