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SCP-286 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-286.
There is a lot of interesting content and effort put into this SCP.
+1
A couple of nitpicks from skimming the page quickly:
- "On loan" makes Site 19 sound like it's not a Foundation facility. "Temporarily assigned" may be more appropriate here.
- "XK-class emergency" always feels weird. There are "XK-class events", there has got to be a better term for what you're suggesting.
~75% more ambient light than actually strikes their them.
Ayup.
It kind of drags on a bit in the middle, but I enjoyed the piece as a whole.
if your reading this your gay
"Explaining" real disasters is almost always a bad thing. But in this case, I think it works. The reference is subtle and oblique enough that it doesn't feel like you are trying to leech off the tragedy to add danger/impact to your fiction, which is what I don't like about the tactic.
The partially translated banter is a bit hard to read. I can't think of any way to improve the flow without spoiling the effect of "beyond our understanding", but there it is all the same.
Overall, I like it. I'm starting to get interested in this mythology.
If you were to remove the tacked on Fukushima disaster thing, this would be ace.
I was initially somewhat confused about the -1 & -2 & Sigma event thing, since it made it sound like there could only be EITHER a -1 or a -2 in existence, but not both. You clarified it significantly later, but it was still unnecessarily confusing.
Instead of saying that the -1 pieces reflect 75% more light than hits them, you might want to reword that to say that they emit light, at a rate of approximately ~75% greater than what hits them.
And please clarify what you mean by "higher order animals". I'm still unclear as to exactly what that category encompasses, and I suspect that a lot of the species don't have a vocal setup that would allow for even an approximately of human speech. If you mean higher-order simians, it would be better to say that.
Overall, I like it, but I would like to see the above concerns addressed.
Giving bearhugs to the unsuspecting since 1872.
I love detail, and this has plenty of that. But at the same time, it's just a board came what makes people possessed.
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page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
