Dangerous in all the right ways! Although how does the machine keep from damaging itself?
Also I gave this a +, after fixing one spelling mistake.
"Objects unaffected from the proxy are SCP-1825, SCP-1825-1, and any objects and persons entering the room after activation. "
Had a dumb. Carry on!
Instead of making three consecutive posts in two minutes, use the "Edit" button under "Options" to add commentary to your existing post.
if your reading this your gay
This is highly amusing, and it made me cringe with horror when I read it. Only suggestion I have is maybe reducing the logs a bit.
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!
I think the logs should stay, actually. Limits the machine and provides interesting insight as to its functions.
thank you! yeah, that was a complaint in the beta stages, but honestly, I don't know what I would take out. I was thinking maybe test numbers 1 and 5, but I'm hesitant.
It's like I'm a hoarder, but instead of objects filling up my house, it's text filling up my entries.
edit: same goes for mere sentences.
No vote for now. I have a few gripes though.
- Density is measured in kg/m^3, not kg/m^2.
- I know the Foundation is big, but the thought that there are just random, pre-existing cylindrical, triangular (which is two dimensions, is it a prism? A tetrahedron?), and spherical rooms…it breaks suspension of disbelief for me.
- These situational tests don't many any sense. Test 11, the density of the proxy keeps on increasing, but you don't say how the test was resolved.
- A standard sized pinball has a volume of 10.32 cm^3. With your "high score" over 30 million, your pinball weighs 312,940kg, almost 700,000 pounds. (A maxed out pinball would weight 1.0320e+7 kg, over 22 million pounds) And the D-Class just picked it up and put it in the drain? Explain what's going on here.
- I can't follow "When the ball goes into the drain, everything that collided with the proxy ceases to be supported by SCP-1825, and collapses." Collapses, like falls down? The language for support and collapse here isn't clear to me.
- "[SCP-1825] is never to be activated outside or inside a spherical room <see addendum-1825-01-B>." Use a comma between outside and or, use parentheses as you have in the rest of the article instead of angle brackets, and capitalize Addendum.
I like a tiny pinball of death but I have a lot of question marks around how this thing actually works.
Alright
- I'll change that once I finish this.
- Well, I was thinking they built a bunch of rooms after they got it. no way they could have all of those rooms (which are steel plated) on hand. As for the triangular room… I dunno, I guess I could say "3-walled" or something.
- oh, test 12 answers that.
- It's just the proxy that has the weight, not the pinball. the pinball's just a pinball… kinda.
- basically, everything is frozen in place until 1825 is off. Then, flop, crash, or shatter respectively.
- will do.
Thanks for the feedback!
I understood it right off the bat what it did, how the foundation acquired it, and why it may be useful to keep around! I love this SCP. I didn't feel anything wrong with it whilst I read, good show. The logs didn't drag on for me, in-fact their slowly building effects only made me wonder just how far they'd go to test it's properties.
See? that's why I'm torn between keeping it the way it is or not. On one hand, you could say it's too long, but on the other, you could say it doesn't feel long because it builds suspense. Might need to find a happy medium. Thanks for the for the feedback! Never had someone say they loved my work.
Thruout the read, I kept thinking, 'How useful will this be in containment of the Euclid and maybe even Keter Class SCPs? I know cross SCP testing is forbidden, but what abt other circumstances?
Actually, I did bring that up in test number 9, although it was D-class personnel. I'd imagine it having the same problems with SCPs (potentially catastrophic events could ensue. I'd imagine the situation like trying to dig a hole with a nuclear bomb) although, it might be interesting to make a supplement entry based on that premise.
Glad you liked it!
I have no idea what is going on in the enviromental log. Otherwise, nice idea!
Thanks! But what do you mean about the Environment test logs? I'm just trying it out in different rooms.
Yes, that is it. I can't really imagine what is going on there: The walls are lined with motion sensors to detect dents or possible damage in the big ball?
And why are such different rooms used? I guess it has something to do with the forbidden use of the circular room, but I can't quite put my finger on it. Then again, it might just be that I'm not an english speaker and some words don't quite click there for me as I imagine what's going on.
Oh, the different rooms are meant to test the shape (or distortion) of the proxy. The spherical room just kind of bit them in the ass during testing.
Allright then. So, the proxy is the room according to the room in the pinball machine, not the ball. Thanks for explanation
Please take out all those footnotes. There's no need to define the common features of a well-known device.
Really love the idea— and imagery— but the presentation lessened the impact. Maybe the test logs were a few too many? Doesn't read especially funny or scary.