Liked the idea in the story, like it even more here and like it most because it's art without AWCY.
SCP-1770 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-1770.
It's good! I really love the concept. But I feel like you gave a little too much away in the description. More vagueness and [REDACTED]/[DATA EXPUNGED] would be welcome here. It's always an important part of upping the creep factor.
(account deleted)More vagueness and [REDACTED]/[DATA EXPUNGED] would be welcome here. It's always an important part of upping the creep factor.
Just so you know for future reference, Gall, that's absolutely terrible advice. Countless articles have been shredded here because the author assumed that [DATA EXPUNGED] meant "interesting" or "I don't have to write anything here."
Very true. The only usual place that extra expungement can help an article is if someone is flailing around with pseudoscience so transparent you can use it to glaze windows.
Other than that.. yeah. Now, i'll bite the bullet, and tell you that it is indeed possible to redact or expunge in places where you know that what you can write in isn't going to be any better than a redaction (I have done it a fair amount of times).
BUT.
Think of an expungement like a classic movie gag. A bunch of villains surrounds the protagonist with blunt weapons, and he instinctively reaches for a gun in his coat. You might even see its shadow. as he calmly tells them off and counts to three… and then you see it were just his fingers folded into the shape of one.
Now, if he pulled out a hand and yelled "Boom!" it wouldn't have the intended effect, would it?
Redaction, in principle works the same. If you absolutely have to use it because you know you can't do better than leaving a blank space, you need to write the buildup to absolutely persuade whoever's reading that there's something underneath.
Couple of items:
In Containment:
"Due to SCP-1770 resistance" should be SCP-1770's.
Same sentence:
"corrosive materials , the" should be "corrosive materials, the".
In Description, Stage Two:
"SCP-1770 was known" should be "SCP-1770 has been known".
In Stage Three:
"SCP-1770 showed a powerful protective urge towards the knot formations, and devoted " should be "SCP-1770 shows a powerful protective urge towards knot formations, and will devote".
Other than these minor corrections, an interesting idea. It didn't really grab me, I guess - it's not what I consider a very thought-provoking SCP, but not every one needs to be a twist ending, either.
Just another scary thing that kills people and makes more of itself.
That used to. That was the point of the article, really- it lost its motivation completely. Something took it away from it. That something got what it wanted from it (the chain knots), and then left it to get captured.
did I miss it, or is there no Recovery Log….I'd like to see one….
I'm upvoting.
There are some SCPs that use a photo of an art sculpture and manage to make it seem real and mysterious when writing about it. Unfortunately, this one doesn't do that for me. Especially the second photo.
ya, I really dont like the second photo either, it just feels tacked on.
So, am I right in thinking the Storm was the Breath?
Great photos on this one. I'm not too sure about the first interview; the second one felt more real, interesting and relevant to the article overall.
I got a little jumbled in the middle of the description of what all it does, though. The writing could use tightening.
/forum/t-520731/scp-1770#post-
page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
