I like the idea but the execution is lacking, in my opinion.
SCP-1134 / Discussion
Forum
» Per Page Discussions / Per page discussions
» SCP-1134
This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-1134.
Namely the drops turning into bullets, it's poorly described and somehow it comes after you emphasize that the paint spreads remarkably well and forms a 100% barrier (bullets do nothing to it or the wall behind it, fire does nothing to it, etc) and it honestly feels like it was tacked on as a downside to an otherwise amazing and incredibly useful product.
If you expanded upon that section a little more so it didn't feel as shallow it would be better.
SCP-1134-1 appears to be a glossy violet in color, measuring at a visible wavelength of 416 nm.
Just say it's violet. We'll get the picture.
SCP-1134-1 is remarkably efficient when used as a paint. It spreads uniformly and only adheres to surfaces not currently coated in itself. It comes cleanly off of the brush onto the surface, allowing all of the liquid to be utilized with utmost effectiveness.
Just say it's high-quality paint. You don't have to explain how well it comes off the brush.
Any "spills" or "drips"…quickly accelerate to a speed and force equivalent to a .347 magnum handgun round…and behave with trajectories identical to the ricochet characteristics of .347 magnum handgun rounds.
Condense that to be less repetitive.
Contact with organic matter [DATA EXPUNGED]
It shoots them. Just say it shoots them.
Like Boa said, I like this idea, but the execution kills it. Not enough for me to downvote it, but enough to keep me from upvoting. Work out the kinks, and I'll be happy to give you a +1.
Quick, Simple, and to the point. Nice effects of the paint. Might want to consider adding fluff such as experiment logs though.
I like this pretty well, but calling out a specific caliber of handgun ammunition as the equivalent seems a bit … off.
I'm not that proficient in ballistics. Many people on this site seem to be though. If someone could let me know a better way to describe it, I'd appreciate that.
Say something like "…quickly accelerate to a speed measured at a uniform 490 metres per second, comparable to a .357 Magnum round." (BTW it's .357, not .347.) Drop the next sentence about ricochet behaviour, the paragraph that follows covers that.
(account deleted)Hmmm.
Points in favor:
- Interesting concept
- Writing is good
- Tone is good
Points against:
- Sort of formulaic "does something good/something bad" approach
- Why does it matter why the guy was flicking paint at his friends? Dissonant note in an otherwise good clinical feel
No vote for now, but I'm curious to see what edits you come up with.
There are some sloppy expungements.
Contact with organic matter [DATA EXPUNGED]
resulting in [DATA EXPUNGED]
At least put periods after them like sentences, or something…
Living the dream, or dreaming the life?
This was a moderately okay article that I was "meh"ing over, not gonna vote one way or the other…
…then there was this:
Recovery Log 1134 Abstract: Recovered following interception of a 911 call, in which the caller claimed that he had just "shot Juan and Nick with my fucking paintbrush!" An ambulance from the Special Care Providers front company was dispatched to the scene, ██07 ██th Street, ███████, Illinois. Foundation agents determined that the caller, Henry ██████, had been painting the wall of a new home when his coworkers, Nicholas ██████ and Juan ██████ had engaged in friendly ribbing of Henry over his sexual preferences. Henry responded by flicking SCP-1134-1 at them with a paint brush, resulting in [DATA EXPUNGED]
So. Very. Narmy. Especially the bit about calling him a fag (which is what I presume "friendly ribbing over his sexual preferences" meant). Downvote.
Giving bearhugs to the unsuspecting since 1872.
Agreed. Ditch the recovery log, it's not always necessary to have one.
Especially the bit about calling him a fag (which is what I presume "friendly ribbing over his sexual preferences" meant).
dude could be a furry. or he could have a tickle fetish, and they're literally ribbing him.
Gay furries with tickle fetishes and the women who love them! Next, on Maury!
Giving bearhugs to the unsuspecting since 1872.
"Contact with organic matter paints them completely violet and makes them dance the mating dance of their Cooakawa forefathers."
Don't use expunged like that, especially at the end of a paragraph where there are no context clues to formulate anything other than what I guessed it did. Speaking of which, if you paint a person, do they become bulletproof?
Also, if it was the unnaturally good paint you say it is, it wouldn't drip.
Not voting on this yet.
if it was the unnaturally good paint you say it is, it wouldn't drip.
come on, dude. he has to maintain believability here.
I think we need to install this as part of the "Oh shit Able just woke up" defense grid.
/forum/t-471991/scp-1134#post-
page revision: 1, last edited: 02 Apr 2021 15:16
