Ehhh, concept does nothing for me, but its quality is enough to stop me from downvoting.
No vote.
Ehhh, concept does nothing for me, but its quality is enough to stop me from downvoting.
No vote.
Well, the concept is good, but i think that get high qualified D class personnel is a little bit excessive. Rememberthe Foundation usually takes D class personnel from prisoners, sentenced to death.
P.S: i like the second picture, thats why i think this can be good
i will vote later (after editing)
I know. The idea was that for the lot there, terminations were suspended indefinitely. Maybe it's silly but while writing it, I got a bit cutesy with definitions - DR being Disposable, Retained. Might be better to cut the renumbering out.
EDIT: And now, when I posted a second comment there, the old one was displayed properly. This could relate to what the fuck is causing the bug.
Play it off, admin cat!
I was going to upvote this in spite of some tone issues, but then I got to the "and then it kills you horribly" part and changed my mind. We already have a British public transport system with a phantom driver, and this one doesn't really do anything for me as is. Honestly, i'd find it much more interesting if it didn't kill its customers unless they did something like curse at him or try to short him on the fare, and its main effect were something more unusual - such as, for instance, the passenger getting switched places with their counterpart from a parallel universe.
To be honest, I don't see the similarity, though this does point to me not getting some things across too well.
I wonder though, what tone issues?
The engine doesn't connect to the gas tank.
There are a few instances like that - to me, using contractions like "doesn't" and "isn't" comes off as too informal and out-of-place in a Foundation document. There are a few punctuation errors aside from that. All in all, the article is well-written enough that the tone problems don't hurt it too badly, but I just don't like the concept.
Not going to downvote it, although I agree with Smapti's comment. Your second image bears a caption that says an instance of 1729 malfunctioned. I like that idea a lot better, with these things being essentially benign, but malfunctioning sometimes.
I'm upvoting for potential though.
I, on the other hand, like the implications of these being harvesters for some unknown organization. Perhaps a tale is in order hinting towards who?
I agree with Smapti, the "horrible murder bit" is a bit cheesy. when i viewed the seond image i thought the SCP ocassionally had limbs and succh parts manifesting on parts of the car as to be slightly malicious, still the syntax is well written so therefore No vote.
I love the idea of predatory, auto-mated cars but as Smapti said there are major tone issues. Upvoted, but I hope the tone issues are fixed. Can we edit them ourselves?
Edited the end note a bit. Hopefully the point comes across better.
These things are automated harvesters indeed. However, by the time we found the first one, they were abandoned by whoever used them.. .except they gave zero fucks, and left them running. So now, they collect people, process them, and deliver to nobody at all, and do it until we capture them , and/or they break down on their own - they have a finite supply of material to be used, after all. The foundation got a hint, and stopped monitoring the delivery locations, hence, last addendum.
Can I make edits, not to content but to wording and tone? Say, change "doesn't" to "does not" and other such corrections to make it seem like a scientific document?
Also, I like the explanation. Now I just wonder what some weird, SCP-making organization wanted human tissue for in large quantities….