First Article
This is my first SCP. All comments/criticisms are welcome.
EDIT: I'll refrain from editing the MTF and Secure Facilities pages until I get some feedback.
SCP-1820 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-1820.
Interesting, I like the detail put into this SCP. There are few that protain to so much detail. I'm sure you did the base but, I'm more than sure that lots helped progress it. Still a very nice and interesting SCP.
<-tanman650->
I really dislike the whole "cannot be found on purpose" thing. It feels cliche as shit.
As far as I can tell, you can find it on purpose: you just have to wander around in the containment area until you don't know your exact position, then keep wandering until you run into it.
Exactly. This way it's also a lot easier for people to find just by entering the area.
I think the percentage of people who can resist it and the amount of time it takes should be unblackboxed, along with the names of the agents. Otherwise, I like it, in spite of the previously-used "cannot be found on purpose" idea. The expungement was surprisingly nice, as I'm actually really curious what's behind it.
if your reading this your gay
Hmm… in retrospect I agree with the resistance percentage. Maybe the time as well, anyone else have thoughts?
Edit: Actually, removing the Agents' black boxes will really improve readability as well…
Not bad for a first effort, but it feels like a setup in search of a climax, and it sets up too many things that it never really resolves. We never find out what the house is doing to people except that they come out afraid and they starve themselves to death.
Suggestions:
-Put in some footnotes defining nyktophobia and spheksophobia so the reader doesn't have to go on Wiktionary to look them up.
-The agents having their GPS trackers on when they find the cabin contradicts the statement that it can't be found while wearing a GPS tracker. It might be better to say that GPS had been disrupted by solar flare activity or something of that nature.
-"Agent Holland had developed symptoms of sever [REDACTED]." Unless the cabin is chopping off people's limbs, he probably didn't develop sever anything. :)
-Have a brief interview with one of the agents where he describes what happened inside before he dies.
Cautiously upvoting for now because I want to see this get better.
It can't be found if you or anyone else knows your location, at the end of the incident log you find out they simultaneously stopped working just after the last time their locations were checked. But the fact I have to explain it means something's wrong, how can I clear that up?
And I see what you mean by the climax. I think it needs an Addendum about the interior, I should have known that when I put in the bit about a figure. I'll put in the footnote as well.
EDIT: Added interview log for Agent Gutierrez
Had to look up definitions but that's my fault for ignorance. Wasps and night time? I'm really curious
Subjects are completely amnesiac
What. I guess I'm just used to hearing it as something to make people forget.
Living the dream, or dreaming the life?
That's changing, I'm writing an interview log for Agent Gutierrez at the moment.
Also, I think I see what you mean. Should be amnesic, duh.
Do you mean homey or homely? Totally different words.
Oh god, not the bees! This is excellent. I like the disconnect between "it seems like a good idea to go in" and "I'm never going back in there again", not to mention the "Why spheksophobia?" note. I'm glad it's brought up just how strange and specific that is.
After lurking on the wiki a little longer, I finally get the bees reference. Though wasps personally freak me out more.
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page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
