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This is unfinished. This is obviously unfinished. Correct the grammar mistakes, the extraneous quotation marks, the BLANK County, etc.
Again, again, again, I say to the newbies: GET SOMEONE ELSE TO REVIEW & PROOFREAD BEFORE YOU POST.
Giving bearhugs to the unsuspecting since 1872.
I've had it up for less than five minutes. Chill.
Sorry. I was having a very bad day at work and was harsher than I intended.
Giving bearhugs to the unsuspecting since 1872.
Fair enough. Still, though, if an article's only been up five minutes, give the author a chance to catch the typos and minor mistakes (unless you're talking about something that's so bad it's hard to read). I showed this to at least five people before posting it, and they didn't catch it on the sandbox. Sometimes, these things only become clear after the article's up and posted. I don't really mind that you mistook me for a newbie, but frankly, I wouldn't want a newbie jumped on like this either.
Minor editorial quibble, Mann. Foreign Language phrases are typically put in italics. Exempli gratia, this right here. Quod erat demonstrandum.
Someone just called an admin a newbie? This just made my day. :D
I don't look at who the authors are unless it seems like there's a reason to. I had no idea this was by Mann until he replied.
Giving bearhugs to the unsuspecting since 1872.
Hair trigger much, Drewbear? :D
I think this is golden. My only critique is that I think the attached document should be in quote boxes in the main document, as to me it's absolutely integral to the overall piece. It's like writing part of a book normally, and then writing the climactic scenes entirely in the footnotes.
But, as said elsewhere, I'm sure someone else would get annoyed at the total length. And I'm still upvoting, so there ya go.
I don't like any of the prayer bullsh*t people try to crowbar into Foundation stuff. I'm an atheist in a world without 682, if there was a village in the Siberia of my reality infested with The Flesh that Hates I would consider any faith the biggest damn joke in the 'verse.
The knowledge that the supernatural actually exists wouldn't make things easier? Real life has some pretty awful stuff. At least as bad as most of the stuff on this site. Yet people still have faith without the absolute knowledge that such things are actually possible.
This is a firm SCP, and I support it.
I'm Doc Burns, and I approve this message.
As with the person above, this is much better with the document. I'd say just put it under a fold, since the document is pretty short and is somewhat integral. I am a bit hazy on how the contents of the document mean that the D-Class should be awarded, though… the document just talks about the agents. Or is that a separate incident which the document makes more clear?
A D-Class FOUND the document and put an end to it. The agent wasn't a D-class.
I thought about putting it under a collapsible, but I got some grief over the collapsible in 1059. I may change it though, if that's the consensus.
The assumption is that the Class D personnel used the information in the document to neutralize the SCP (since the agents are presumed dead by that point).
I thought about putting it under a collapsible, but I got some grief over the collapsible in 1059. I may change it though, if that's the consensus.
FWIW when I got grief for a collapsible in SCP-1000, putting the same thing in quote boxes seemed to work better for people.
(Though I also don't see why you got grief for the collapsible in SCP-1059 at all, soooooo.)
Okay, working it into the main page. I might tweak the format a little, but how's it looking now?
From where I'm standing, I like it.
I would have actually liked a collapsable, it's a bit lengthy and, while it's the end of the article, there's a bit after it. Which could be an addendum in of itself, as I think they'd wait before considering it neutralized, meaning it'd be added later.
Just some advice to a fellow newbie. XD
Like everyone's been saying, the document really makes it. At first I was wondering why it listed the item #, etc. Then I reasoned that agents would probably have a similar form to fill out as a field report, which made me happy for some reason.
I'm not too clear on the addenda, though. Does it mean that every team that entered died and the information in the main article came from the agent's document? Also, not a huge fan of the send-in-the-D-Class-to-the-monster-universe thing, but I did like that he was awarded a posthumous medal.
Every team that entered through the front door died. All information in the main article prior to the last addendum comes from poking around at it from the outside.
If they think it's been destroyed, shouldn't it be an -EX? Still pretty cool. +1.
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!
-EX is for explained. They still don't really know how this thing worked.
Not much to say that's already been said, but I'm really liking this.
This is probably just me personally, but…
I can't help but feel that maybe the nest could have been a bit more horrifying. Maybe instead of ripping victims' hearts out, the entities could have just dragged victims inside the farmhouse. Then the nest could have been revealed to be an "eternal suffering" kind of deal where the victims were set up in a undoubtedly painful process where they were constantly "birthing" new entities forever. Maybe it could have been noted that once an agent who was being dragged shot him/herself before the entity entered the farmhouse, but the document reveals they just brought him/her back to life somehow and he/she's integrated in the "reproductive process" just like the others. This is fairly cliche, I know. I'm just rambling on about what would personally hit me harder.
What's here definitely works though, and I upvoted regardless. Great work, Mr. Mann.
I like it - the D-class playing hero is my favorite bit of it, although I'm not sure why, and I like the perspective from the inside. I do have two questions, though: one, I feel like the prayer element doesn't really add a great deal? (What do I know, though.) And two, if the task forces aren't trained for this, what the hell DO they get trained for? I always assumed that a task force was the scariest job you got (not counting the D's, since that's less job and more "demotion to subhuman," to my understanding).
The prayer is there for a few reasons. For one, most of the articles we have with a faith-based element have been deleted or ARC'd. It also serves as a handy reason why the D-Class was able to do the job when the agents weren't. He managed to keep his faith (partly by having forewarning of what was at the nest). For the other… For some things, there is no training. And thinking you are trained for it is detrimental in the long run. That's part of why Barclay lost his nerve.
This has my vote for keter of the year, but I wonder if it would be even better if you didn't explicitly describe the pile of hearts? Left a bit more ambiguity in the climax? Either way, fantastic work.
(account deleted)