I have been told that the final note by Dr P reads a bit too much like bad Creepypasta. I would like other opinions and suggestions on how this can be improved. If you have other objections to anything in the entry, please feel free to rip it a new one so that I can correct it.
SCP-1859 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-1859.
(account deleted)This SCP has a lot of great stuff. Honestly the what would really help, though, would be a diagram of the layout of the SCP if you could find or make one—the containment procedures are good but it's hard to visualize the zones and access points without having read the description. Upvoted, though.
That third note was the only thing I disliked about this. I'd advise just cutting it.
This is spectacularly detailed. That final note reads more like an over-dramatic documentary narration than creepypasta, but it's not entirely out of place.
There's a ridiculous number of things going on in this SCP, but you manage to tie them together and make it legitimately academically interesting. I've seen SCPs that win by creep, by horror, by humor, and by oddity, but this may be the only thing I've seen that wins by science alone. Impressive work.
Shitton of things happening, and somehow it isn't bad.
Living the dream, or dreaming the life?
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What I have read so far is very impressive but I need to rest up and give this thing a good going over to really appreciate it. That's not a complaint, I'm just too fresh out of bed on too few hours of sleep to give this the attention I want to right now. X_X
Very nice. The science is impressive. You put a lot of work into this, and it shows. Upvoted.
Upvoted.
Honestly, what sealed this for me was not the core concept, but the details. It looks like you put
lots of time and effort into writing this, and the tone of writing is excellent. Complex, detailed SCPs like this are fun to read, and you pulled it off quite well.
Lines I especially like:
five hours (subjective time)
This tips you off to the temporal part of the SCP in a way that's rather subtle and made me go: "Wait, what? Oh,
where exactly is this going?" This is always good in any area of writing. I wanted to keep reading it.
D-Class personnel assigned to an expedition must first be screened for any background suggesting that they are aware of the symptoms of radiation poisoning.
I always like it when the moral ambiguity of the Foundation is shown. Yes, they would check that the D-class were
unfamiliar with the symptoms of radiation poisoning for the sole purpose of sending them in to explore an area that
would irradiate them. They're expendable.
I enjoyed how you showed the progression of the exploration over time (they didn't know there was life there at first), and the notes at the bottom add "flavor".
The use of more clinical-sounding terms (like "monitoring station" instead of, say, "camera") and the way you
described radiation made it sound like an actual scientific report. I don't know how to really say this other than "THAT SOUNDS SCIENCY, OOH".
All in all, good work.
I like this a lot. There are a couple of places where the use of "incredible" or "incredibly" seems to break the objective tone you've maintained throughout, but this is a minor nitpick.
+1
I don't see what causes the high rate of evolution for things in the Green zone. Not only does time move slower at the center of the cavern, but external sources of ionizing radiation are red-shifted into non-ionizing radiation, further reducing the rate of mutation.
In the case of SCP-1859, calculations show that the cause of the high energy radiation is the primary resonance frequency of electromagnetic radition in the chamber itself (approximately ███ Hz).
Resonance doesn't actually produce energy. If there was a directional asymmetry to the wavelength shifting, such that light was red-shifted to a lesser magnitude going out that it's blue-shifted going in, that would create an endless source of energy as photons were bounced back and forth from the center to edge and back.
Though the rate of photon production in this manner is very low, the compression of time ultimately results in lethal doses of ionizing radiation at certain distances.
Since time is slowed in the center of the cavern compared to the edges, some on the edge would perceive the center to be producing photons at a slower rate. Time compression would only be observed by someone in the center looking out.
The time shift goes the other way. Time goes quicker, not slower. If time went slower, we'd be dealing with a Black Hole-like effect with the radiation red-shifting as it goes outwards. This acts more like a White Hole. Unfortunately, the English language still isn't equipped to handle different rates of time flow, so confusion can still happen.
As for the resonance frequency, physics is already a little bit screwed up inside there. I think I'll tweak that sentence a bit, though. Change it so that it's consistent with the resonance frequency, rather than being created from it.
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page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
