One Kit and an (Anomalous) Baby Pt. 2 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page One Kit and an (Anomalous) Baby Pt. 2.

Author Notes

Zara Calico 17 Dec 2017 17:21

You'll understand why this has so many chapters when I get to the Too Real conclusion.

I know I'm skipping over some parts of baby care (for example, sterilising bottles, using baby wipes and powder when changing nappies, etc.) but just assume that this stuff doesn't matter/is done without narration in-universe.

The entity involved has the mind of a child, so doesn't really think of the more complicated, adult-based needs of an infant, but knows about hunger and entertainment at least.

Re: Author Notes

fieldstone 17 Dec 2017 18:33

This isn't as far off as you think - modern technology has changed a lot:

• boiling bottles isn't necessary these days if you have city water
• old-fashioned baby formula needed to be warmed so it wouldn't clump, but modern ones will dissolve at any temperature (we make formula with bottled water straight from the fridge)
• talcum powder turns out to cause cancer
• baby wipes are only needed when cleaning poops, and overusing them causes diaper rash (the way to clean pee is just let the baby air dry for a minute or two before putting the new diaper on)

Lots of people still do the extra steps because the older way was modeled for them (and some babies may prefer warm milk).

The part you nailed is that their tiny bellies need a bottle at least every 3 hours, around the clock, for the first 3-4 months (then they can make it without one just long enough to sleep through the night) - new parents getting no sleep that whole time is closer to literal truth than to a joke. Human milk/formula is the only food Munchkin's little system can fit that's dense enough in calories to keep her satisfied ("food for fun until age one"), so unless Kit is giving her a bottle to go with the pudding he's going to have a crying, sleepless mess on his hands :p

This continues to be a nice Christmas treat, but with anticipation building well - like an advent calendar, except a baby might die.

Re: Author Notes

Zara Calico 17 Dec 2017 18:47

Ooo, that's interesting. I haven't interacted with a baby for a while, and the only thing I use steriliser for is for cleaning my snake's feeding equipment!

so unless Kit is giving her a bottle to go with the pudding he's going to have a crying, sleepless mess on his hands :p

Hey, he has to learn somehow, right? I mean, pfft, how hard can bringing up a fragile, breakable human with no way of communicating, limited muscle control, and no control of their bodily functions be?

I'm glad you're enjoying it :3 I won't spoil if the baby will die or not. I mean, I can be quite a cruel master to my creations…

Re: Author Notes

Genshed 17 Dec 2017 22:31

I'm almost as worried for Kip as Matilda at this point. He's not that much more capable of taking care of himself.

Re: Author Notes

Zara Calico 17 Dec 2017 22:32

Nope, he's really not. He lives in an unheated house with Halloween sweets and Christmas chocolate being the only edible things in his cupboards. Oh, and of course he occasionally has to deal with anomalous visitors and cats no-one else can see.

Genshed 17 Dec 2017 22:28

I remember reading that having a newborn is like having a dear friend who's suffered severe brain damage and requires almost constant supervision and assistance with all activities of daily living. Oh, and they can only communicate with howls, cries and gurgles - mostly the first two.

Zara Calico 17 Dec 2017 22:30

Pretty much! I lived with a newborn for a very short amount of time (thank god) and it was totally odd, having this tiny human who didn't even have muscle control and couldn't do the tiniest thing, like burp, without assistance. I was about as awkward as Kit around the kid, trying to hold conversations with this thing that couldn't reply but looked so human.

It's almost in the uncanny valley honestly.