Critique as of now - New SCP

Critique as of now - New SCP

Homicidal Lemur 05 Feb 2012 01:03

Well as the first attempt of mine was a complete and abysmal failure, I did manage to learn a lot from it. Therefore, before even trying to post an all new SCP before it is even reviewed, I would appreciate a little critique as of now.

I'm looking for things in the way of:
How original do you find this?
What are your thoughts as to how it is progressing?
Anything you would like to see in the final draft?

http://sandbox.scp-wiki.net/funniest-joke-ever-scp-idea

Thanks

Re: Critique as of now - New SCP

Rejekyll 05 Feb 2012 01:08

My thoughts.

Re: Critique as of now - New SCP

Boulder Smolder 05 Feb 2012 01:10

The Big List of Overdone SCP Cliches

"5. Things what you saw on TV/ in a movie/ in an anime/ read about in a book / heard in a song."

If you change it more, it might be acceptable, but right now it's nearly exactly the same as the Monty Python version.

Re: Critique as of now - New SCP

Homicidal Lemur 05 Feb 2012 01:14

Alright. I can honestly say that prior to writing this I had no idea that Monty Python had created this. I'm not a huge fan of British cinema. However I do see how it's unnervingly similar. Nevertheless there is a portion of the writing that I have not done that differentiates it from the Monty Python version.

Last edited on 05 Feb 2012 01:14 by Homicidal Lemur Show more

Re: Critique as of now - New SCP

Grug16 05 Feb 2012 01:18

I'd like to add that Memetics are nothing new to the Foundation.

Re: Critique as of now - New SCP

Homicidal Lemur 05 Feb 2012 01:49

True, but with 1000+ entries it is rather hard to make something that does not have some minor similarity to another SCP or idea.

Last edited on 05 Feb 2012 01:49 by Homicidal Lemur Show more

Re: Critique as of now - New SCP

Homicidal Lemur 05 Feb 2012 02:53

New information added.

Re: Critique as of now - New SCP

vampyre_smiles 05 Feb 2012 07:43

"… continue to laugh continuously, …" :( Look at your life. Look at your (word) choices.

Also, I would treat people in this situation with Amnesiacs, unless there was a good reason to believe those wouldn't work. How does it even get transmitted if everyone dies? I know how hard it is to do something when uncontrollably laughing and the last thing I would try to do is tell the joke that caused that condition.

Last edited on 05 Feb 2012 07:50 by vampyre_smiles Show more

Re: Critique as of now - New SCP

Homicidal Lemur 05 Feb 2012 09:33

I can tell you didn't take the time to read the Experiment files. But I will fix that bit of wording. Also I'm mulling over the idea of creating some sort of carrier, like an SCP-1XXX-1.

Last edited on 05 Feb 2012 09:35 by Homicidal Lemur Show more

Re: Critique as of now - New SCP

Agent Angus Smith 05 Feb 2012 13:44

I don't think this idea can be salvaged, even if it was very well-written.

Re: Critique as of now - New SCP

Homicidal Lemur 05 Feb 2012 20:25

Really? I was going to add a carrier, in which the subject would continue laughing but the heart and lungs would grow in size and muscle to accommodate the stress. This would extend the life of the subject, but after a while would cause the heart to become so big that it distended the chest cavity. Add a small gross/creepy factor. it would go with a nice picture.

Re: Critique as of now - New SCP

Homicidal Lemur 05 Feb 2012 21:52

Idea has been scrapped. Thanks to all who gave their opinions.