SCP Draft: Advice, feedback, etc. requested.

Summary:

Reinvigorating a cliché

SCP Draft: Advice, feedback, etc. requested.

Tom Serveaux 02 Feb 2012 19:19

This is a draft of an SCP I've been working on for a little while. It's not done yet, and there are a couple rough patches, but is the overall concept viable? I'd really like some help if anyone's willing to offer it; my first two SCPs didn't go down as well as I'd hoped but I really do want to make some meaningful contributions to this site. Thanks.

Re: SCP Draft: Advice, feedback, etc. requested.

ChazzK 02 Feb 2012 22:13

While I like the idea of making "The Grays" an extremely rare but (possibly?) natural primate species, something's not quite adding up here.. I think it's because you're making it a bit too obvious. Especially with that ABSOLUTELY HUGE picture; not sure if it's a formatting issue or what, but it's literally as tall as the rest of the article is long. I'd say drop the picture from it, then throw in some vague hints to compensate for it.

Re: SCP Draft: Advice, feedback, etc. requested.

Agent Angus Smith 03 Feb 2012 15:20

The big icons of the paranormal include Bigfoot, Nessy, and Greys. People are already opinionated about these. It is easier to make an old hand trowel into a successful SCP than with a Count Dracula clone.

I agree that the picture detracts from the article.

They need to be scarier. If they were found deep in Mammoth Cave in a sealed off area and and somebody is breeding and training them…

Re: SCP Draft: Advice, feedback, etc. requested.

LordMetalton 06 Feb 2012 05:02

One major thing that killed my immersion was listing the average IQ. How could they have tested that if you say in the next sentence that they're just learning american sign language?

Re: SCP Draft: Advice, feedback, etc. requested.

Tom Serveaux 06 Feb 2012 23:02

It's possible to gauge IQ through nonverbal tests, such as puzzles, etc.

Take a gander at the revised version, if anyone's still interested in this.