New SCP in the Sandbox!
http://sandbox.scp-wiki.net/body-feature-duplicator
Any tips or help will be happily accepted!
New SCP in the Sandbox!
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» New SCP in the Sandbox!
Small nitpick: check your grammar or have someone proof read before you put it up as finished.
Bigger nitpicks: You use some unnecessary words in places, which takes away from the mood of the story. For example, I would rewrite this paragraph:
"SCP-XXX's unique properties begin to show when any biological creature comes in contact with it. As soon as any living form, excluding plant matter, bacteria and fungi, touches the specimen, one of the five senses (sight, smell, touch, taste, hearing) will completely stop working. The factor of what sense is affected is random, with no pattern emerging whatsoever."
as:
"SCP-XXX's properties activate when it comes in contact with a complex biological creature (any living form, excluding plant matter, bacteria and fungi). One the subject's senses will cease functioning. Which sense is affected is random, with no pattern emerging after extensive testing."
because it gets rid of some awkward phrasing and not all creatures have the same set of senses as humans.
682-sized nitpick: The entire skin is the sensory organ of touch, which itself is actually several different senses (pressure, heat/cold, pain, where parts of your body are in space, etc). The idea that there are "only" five senses is a myth. I'd like to see some of the less known senses worked with in here. What happens if you loose your sense of hunger for a while? Or your sense of balance? Or your sense of morality?
Wow, I just realized how much this could be improved.
For the small nitpick, I forgot to read it through, but I'll do that now.
For the big nitpick, I tend to do exactly what you just wrote. I tend to write on and on, when all I really need is a few sentences. Mind if I take your paragraph and use it?
And for the 682-sized nitpick, I understand that the all the skin is used in the sense of touch, but any idea how I could duplicate that? And I love the idea about the other senses! I'm going to definitely include them, but just a note: how would these be duplicated? Should I just get rid of the duplicating thing and just say that the sense gets shut off completely? Or maybe, the senses could get shut off for about a week, then come back, but work in a much greater way, without stuff growing out of your skin?
And also, would feelings, like happiness, sadness, anger, fear, embarrassment, etc, be affected?
Thanks for the help!
Go right ahead for the paragraph.
I kind of like the idea of growths, but I don't know how others would feel. As for touch (or whatever components you use), maybe just "finger-like projections" or nodules with a high abundance of sensory neurons?
I think you can decide for feelings. Though since a lot of them are controlled by the brain… I could see it leading to either "The subject's brain began to expand and [redacted]." Or, "Subject reported the inability to become angry. After xyz time, subject went into a rage and killed so many number of people before being exterminated." Although those were off the top of my head and there could be creepier things going on.
Now I'm thinking about writing something that messes with one's sense of body awareness.
This is the exact reason the Help forum was put there. In the future, please post WIP things there.
/forum/t-437312/new-scp-in-the-sandbox#post-
page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
