Whoever wrote SCP-1022 should get over here and read this. This is how you do this concept well.
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The concept in general still refuses to interest me. It's made even worse by the fact that I still have the taste of 1022 in my mouth.
if your reading this your gay
How does a lab coat that lets you see microbes relate to a hopping reality warping door?
Shitty articles get deleted and their numbers get re-used. I don't particularly remember what "SCP-1022" was in December 2011, but I assume it had something to do with doors that opened into the wrong places. Maybe it's in an old Deletion thread, but those weren't always as detailed as they are now.
I somewhat enjoy it, but the thought of a door hopping about is extremely silly. I'll think about this one.
Same here. The general concept holds merit, but the hopping around just smacks of Sorcerer's Apprentice silliness.
Generally, I like it.
My only suggestion for improvement would be to have 1455 merge with the new door, instead of replace it. That way, it leaves a door behind it when it leaves the frame.
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(account deleted)I really love how this one takes two overdone SCP object tropes (indestructibility, randomly moving on its own), and finds a way to make both of them new and interesting. That alone makes this worth the upvote. The only problem is that's the only thing this one really has to offer for me, otherwise it's just a slightly less interesting 249. Some sort of additional twist or consequence of its abilities would make this go from decent to extremely good, in my book.
Don't much care for how fast it moves and how well it hides its movements. Just have it move at a normal pace, not uber-fast and uber-perceptively.
You know, that's a good point. Okay. It moves at a normal speed, and if you try to interfere with it, it just teleports away towards an area with more accessible doorframes.
Why it bothers to hop if it can teleport is open for speculation.
By teleporting, it 'opens a door' to somewhere else; since 1455 itself is a door, it is reluctant to use another door, creating a "door-ception" unless necessary
A tad heavy on vague expunging near the end, but generally a good page. I agree with posts above suggesting it should merge with doors instead of replacing them, but it's already good enough for a slightly hesitant upvote.
Agreed with the agreement. Somehow the actual physical door detaching feels less realistic to me than it merging.
Here's what's actually happening - and although the Foundation has some clues about what's happening (that's what's behind the EXPUNGED), I can't think of a way for them to have figured this out in total.
This is not a door. It only thinks it's a door.
This is a tremendously powerful creature (let's call it "Janus" for the sake of this talk page) with innate space-bending abilities… and some entity that was even more powerful came along and fucked with its head. Lobotomized it, and brainwashed what was left real good. Made it think it's a door. (Is this revenge? Petty malice? An experiment? A game? Something we can't begin to understand?)
So, Janus is squatting there, polymorphed into a door, and thinking the only thought it's allowed to think now, which is "I'M A DOOR"
over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
"I'M A DOOR I'M A DOOR I'M A DOOR I'M A DOOR I'M A DOOR I'M A DOOR I'M A DOOR I'M A DOOR I'M A DOOR I'M A DOOR I'M A DOOR I'M A DOOR"
for all eternity.
But Janus still has enough personality to get bored and lonely.
Janus gets lonely when it's not used often enough, and even when it is used enough, it still gets bored. So when it's bored enough, it animates — no one ever said doors can't move, just that they don't move, so that must mean it's okay for it to move sometimes! It's not a conscious justification, but that's essentially the logic — and unhooks itself from its hinges, and hops off to stretch its metaphorical legs
…. and that's the point at which the negative-reinforcement brainpatterns kick in.
you are a door, you are a DOOR, YOU ARE A DOOR, DOORS BELONG IN DOORFRAMES, DOORS CONNECT TWO SPACES TO EACH OTHER, ANYTHING THAT CONNECTS TWO SPACES TO EACH OTHER IS A DOOR, YOU CONNECT TWO SPACES, YOU ARE A DOOR YOU ARE A DOOR YOU ARE A DOOR
…Janus cannot weep with guilt and terror, because in this form it has neither eyes nor tear ducts, and it doesn't have enough musculature to tremble like a dog waiting to be kicked, but it knows that it's being bad, and it has to get itself into a new doorframe very quickly because DOORS BELONG IN DOORFRAMES.
So Janus hops around for as long as it dares, and finds a doorframe that "looks nice" in terms of the spaces it separates from each other (we could never understand the criteria it uses; they seem to vary from month to month), and then installs itself in the doorframe. And because Janus doesn't want the other door to be punished for vacating its doorframe, it teleports the other door into the newly-vacated doorframe.
The "lag" effect is the result of Janus being very, very confused (because of the lobotomy and brainwashing). Even during its 'standard' phase, Janus teleports everyone who uses it; it's just that they're null teleports. If a gate teleports you to exactly where you were going to be anyway, you don't notice. And even when Janus is in a new doorframe, it still keeps teleporting people to the other side of the old doorframe.
But as the days go by, and the only thing Janus is allowed to think is "I'M A DOOR I'M A DOOR I'M A DOOR I'M A DOOR I'M A DOOR I'M A DOOR I'M A DOOR I'M A DOOR I'M A DOOR", the memories of the spaces attached to the old doorframe become harder to keep hold of, until they eventually slip out of its grasp and it's just easier to use the spaces attached to the new doorframe.
Good door. Good door. Good door. Good door. Good door. Good door. Good door. Good door.
Good door.
I — buh — awesome
SECONDING "awesome"
So, with extensive door therapy, could Janus regain his understanding, or perhaps become a nice frying pan instead? Upvoted for interesting idea. (I personally like the idea that the Foundation has lots of things that are not trying to kill everybody, but are instead just weird and anomalous enough that normal humanity would have problems as a result of knowing they exist.)
So when one works for the Foundation, one does just walk into poor door?
You know, we have -several- SCPs that could be explained in the same way. Divinities or demons cast into the roles of objects, which they perform just slightly out of tune with what should be correct.
I really wish this came through the article better, because it's amazing. But as it stands, it's just too much expungement and JanusWeena Mercator as the Hopping Door.
Sit, Janus, sit. Good door.
This is so much better than I would have expected.
Also, a little note on technique here that I want to call out:
This implies [DATA EXPUNGED], which is considered probable, but for obvious reasons cannot be verified.
Normally I'd be grumbling about abuse of data expungement, but the way you phrase the last part of the sentence saves it. Sure, we still don't know what the fuck is going on (unless we read the comments page of course), but it sounds interesting.
Also also:
SCP-1455 will transition to its ambulatory phase
this phrase makes me so happy you do not even know
Upon transition to its ambulatory phase, SCP-1455 will animate, unhook itself from its hinges, and begin to hop around its environment.
This is what makes the article for me. +1
For some reason I can't stop picturing that scene with some sort of "Wheeeee" sound over it.
But alas, doors do not "Wheeee"…
Personally, I imagine it making a "jumping-sound" video game sounds every time it hops.
Now I picture it making the noises from "QBert" … (raise your hand if you are old enough to have ever seen a QBert machine, heh.)
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page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
