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This is my first SCP- written with the invaluable help of the beautiful and talented Dr. Walston! She deserves just as much credit as me, if not more. It was a little idea we had months ago and are very glad and relieved to have seen it come to fruition. Criticisms are welcome, and encouraged. I'm sure there's SOMETHING we missed that you fine people are perceptive enough to pick up on. Enjoy!
I'm not sure who Dr Walston is. But hello to her too.
I actually like this one; here and there are some phrasing/tone/spacing issues, and the log… well, the Doctor would be a touch more controlled, because he'd know the Class-D's fate beforehand. Less capslock.
I like this though.
Thank you. Yes, we agree. The infuriation of the Doctor was mainly to keep the D-class in line, as a crazy D-class is a near-useless D-class. We were also going for a sort of "good cop, bad cop" vibe. But a toning down of the caps lock does indeed seem in order.
Thanks for the input!
There is something I almost forgot to mention. We wrote thie article with the idea in mind that it would be an appropriate replacement for punishments related to the Foundation that aren't simply "keter duty" or "demotion to D-class".
The idea of being trapped in that rumbling stone behemoth, knowing that the only thing keeping you alive for long is your finite energy..
The scariest thing about this I think, is that you and you alone are responsible for your death. The cognitive dissonance this creates based on the laws of self-preservation is truly shuddering… *shudders* Once in it, you can only choose to die now, or later.
Like Dex, I like the article but think it could use some revisions for everything he mentioned, plus some formatting issues. I would put the interview in a quote box personally, but that might just be me. No vote for now.
I REALLY like this SCP object. However I really do not like certain portions of this article, namely the overexplanation of basic concepts in the first paragraph, the dramatization of its history, and the even more dramatic exploration/experiment log. Tone down the excitement on this and trim it down a bit and you've got yourself a dang good SCP here, it'd easily be in my top 50. Upvoted, but fix it!
I don't -really- like it.
Living the dream, or dreaming the life?
Not really liking something is different than disliking something.
Let's rephrase: Those people who have downvoted feel that the only things they will support on the wiki are things they really like. They downvote because this does not meet their standards. There are people who downvote because the article lacks a rating module, because of bad comma usage, because the word "because" is used too much for their taste. Short of a personal grudge against the author (which you better have really good evidence of, like the voter saying "I have a personal grudge against you"; they might just consistently not like your articles), people can downvote for any reason they want.
If that's how you cats play it here, I retract my previous comment. I appreciate anyone taking the time to read our SCP whether they enjoy it or not. To each his own.
If that's how you cats play it here,
Lynxes
As an aside,don't worry too much. I mean, this is sitting at positive numbers, which is quite an achievement for a first article. Most people's firsts get deleted pretty soon.
Usually log files are put into quote boxes.
That small change-needed aside, I like it.
Edited as of 11:23 to tone down the dramatics of the Experiment Log and to trim a bit of fat from the description.
Formatting also revised.
Yeah, it just got a *bunch* better.
if your reading this your gay
Yeah that helped a lot. I maintain that the first paragraph could stand to be trimmed down - we don't need to hear that it doesn't need security and it seems obvious that they'd be doing experimentation, so I don't see those as worth mentioning in the containment protocols - but the overall tone and feel are much better.
We agreed. Changes have been made to the first paragraph so that it is more concise.
No further objections :) the upvote is now fully deserved. Great work you two. Now make another! :P
I dig this one, something about the sheer simplicity of it, and that you alone determine exactly how horrible it is. Also has a nice claustrophobia vibe as well. Upvoted
See, this just doesn't do anything more than kill you. It's not like you have a choice in the matter either, seeing as you have limits on your endurance, so there's nothing terribly notable about how it kills you. Do we really need more SCPs that don't do anything except kill anyone they interact with? We already have SCP-198, and it's way better than this.
This SCP is much less complicated and messy. It's not simply the fact that all it does is kill. When placed inside, the only choice you have is to die now, or later. The laws of self-preservation dictate that confronting this truth would cause a great deal of distress to the individual which is the main focus of the SCP, not that it simply kills you.
Also, when Walston and I wrote this we understood that this was really only the beginning. We welcome all references and homages to a punishment that is worse than death, if anyone comes up with an idea for someone who has committed an act so atrocious in the world of the Foundation that it warrants something much more severe than "keter duty".
The scariest thing about this SCP in the writers' opinions isn't the fact that is simply kills. It is the psychological duress of knowing that you will die, but you have control over when.
If you gave someone control over their own death, they would choose not to die. In this particular scenario that is not an option, and so a victim of SCP-057 would sooner go batshit crazy over the confrontation of their own mortality than simply giving in.
Aside from the victims of SCP-057 and SCP-198 being placed in a hopeless situation where they are both forced to confront their own mortality, there is little to no distinguishable link between the two.
I like the inevitability of death thing enough to be okay with having two SCPs use it, especially in different ways. Although you will never top SCP-198 for sheer terror. Just sayin'.
if your reading this your gay
Oy.
Okay, here's the thing. This article is not a big deal. It won't get referred to as an Ultimate Punishment of Extreme Doom, because, really, it's kind of bland. Besides, if the Foundation is really, really pissed at you, they'll just shoot you rather than feed you to an SCP they don't fully understand. If they are explicitly setting out to make you suffer as much as possible, then let me tell you, they have things that make this seem pretty pleasant in comparison. SCP-596, for starters.
Saying things like "We welcome all references and homages" just makes it look like you have a rather… inflated opinion of your contribution to this site. No article gets extensive references and homages. Cross-links are no longer taboo, but even 682 is hardly referred to these days, and there's rather a lot more that can be done with 682 than with this. You're just one user of many, and though you seem to have some potential (this is fairly competently written), a sense of entitlement will not really help you.
The inevitability of the death is all fine and dandy, except that that's not something nearly as earth-shattering as you seem to think it'll be. People aren't being forced to confront their mortality by this, they're being forced to confront big stompy stone columns. Or at least that'll be the perception. They won't go crazy, because, contrary to what horror writers would have you believe, the human mind is not precariously balanced above a yawning abyss of madness. They'll just get tired out and die.
Aside from the victims of SCP-057 and SCP-198 being placed in a hopeless situation where they are both forced to confront their own mortality, there is little to no distinguishable link between the two.
But there's basically nothing else to this but a hopeless situation that will kill you eventually. 198 contains all substantive details of this, and has some other elements too for good measure. The exact nature of the situation is different, sure, but that's not a selling point when 198 is simply better at being this than this is.
By the way, how does someone see inside of this?
