SCP by Series
Other SCP
Feed
Stories
Discovery
Random
Thanks to A Random Day,
DarkStuff,
The Great Hippo,
Moklin,
taylor_itkin,
Shaggydredlocks,
DrChandra,
ArkadyRex, and anyone else who I might have forgotten for helping to crit this!
I hope you all enjoy!
Thanks for helping me get this article to 50+ upvotes! It’s a new personal record!
Does Ilia Varlamov, famous russian blogger, knows about using this picture?
C'mon, it was even named "Ilia Varlamov"!
Διογενές Λαερτιαδη, πολυμηχαν Οδυσσευ
Link led directly to image. Source is here, which is under a 3.0 unported license - thus, compliant with the site's license.
I mean, he's a real person, and famous enough in russian Internet. C'mon this picture isn't even redacted! You could hide his eyes at least
Διογενές Λαερτιαδη, πολυμηχαν Οδυσσευ
The journal really makes this one for me. It hooked me in, started off as interesting, and ended off as heart-wrenching. Excellent work, +1
Although I'm not too much of a fan of compulsion effects, it actually felt pretty fitting here, and lead to some good character development. I also liked the detail of when SCP-3430 gets hurt, his anomalous effects kick in, but now that he's dead, the anomalous effects are activated regardless, which would make sense.
Overall, the article was a pretty good read.
+1
I understand, compulsion effects have the potential to be a little touchy, but I'm glad that you liked it anyway!
Thanks for the +1!
Too often compulsion effects are a lazy substitute for good writing. It's nice to be reminded that they can be employed very well indeed in the hands of a skilled author. Very creepy existential horror delivered via excessive hugs.
I also want to applaud your journal entries here: I thought the pacing was excellent, telling the story evocatively and succinctly without feeling rushed or forced-marched. Very organic feel to it. You nearly had me in real tears with his line about not being able to escape by shooting up—that's some heartbreaking shit right there. Heartily upvoted!
(edited for typos)
That’s actually really sweet of you to say, I’m so glad that I evoked such strong emotions with this in you.
I’m seriously smiling so much, thank you!
+1
Interesting effect. Really emotional. I guess it couldn't cure death. Or could it, if they let people hug him enough?
Who knows? It’s not something the Foundation are willing to test now, but maybe some day they’ll want to know.
Thanks for the +1!
As much as I do like the level of detail in this and the effort taken to explore the implications of his anomalous effect, there are a few things that feel off to me.
1. I don't see any reason why the guy's journal entries are logged here. This isn't really an awful thing, it's just that there doesn't really seem to be a reason to have the journals in the article except "plot". Which breaks immersion a bit for me. Just a bit.
2. The journals became a bit weak at the end. The angst at the end (i. e. "there was no love" etc) felt a bit forced. I personally feel that the article isn't at its full heart-wrench potential yet. Perhaps there could be further exploration into the theme of superficial affection versus real and sincere love. We could have the guy be all like "I can only trust my boyfriend now I'm not gonna leave home I'll stay with him forever" and then he bumps against the wall or something and his boyfriend, the only person who truly cared about him, go crazy due to anomalous effects. I think that'd make for a stronger, more cohesive ending, but this is just my 2 cents.
All in all, this is okay, and I liked it, so upvote.
Thank you Mendy! I understand why you wouldn’t like the journal entries, they aren’t exactly for everyone, but I’m glad you liked it otherwise!
If I ever rewrite this, I’ll consider the ending you suggested. It’s certainly an interesting take.
(Also I’m glad I finally made a skip you upvoted)
This was completely unexpected. To take the compulsion effect depicted and make it the stuff of horror - it's original and well depicted. The poor man, just wanting to get out of the house and do something normal… it's like he was cursed by a vengeful Care Bear.
“Cursed By A Vengeful Care Bear” is probably a sentence I never thought I’d read but I’m glad I did.
Thanks for the upvote!
I'm a bit uncertain how I feel about this one - it's clearly written as a sucker punch to the feels, and I admit it nailed that shot, but…it's a little empty. Melancholy is a fair response, but it's not really aimed at the dead guy, and the question of what happened to kill him (despite his powers) feels tacked on, rather than an organic mystery.
It's still an upvote, but it's a weak one.
I can understand that. It’s hard to fill in all the gaps without things feeling too long or overwhelming, so I understand if you think I might’ve missed a few important details.
Thanks for the upvote though!
So, the narrative arc is an expected one. The idea of a power which bodes great promise, but later turns out to be a curse, is fairly common in stories about immortality, for instance. Hell, eternal youth is effectively a bastardised form of true immortality at any rate. So yeah, this feels like one of those stories. Can't say much about the journals that hasn't already been said, but they do their job well-enough.
(account deleted)
