Creepy Doll What Lets You Fight Good

Creepy Doll What Lets You Fight Good

thedeadlymoose 07 Aug 2011 21:38

So, I wrote up an SCP, based on Bright's latest challenge. If you've been in site 19 recently, you already know what that challenge is.

Here: http://sandbox.scp-wiki.net/thedeadlymoose

First dropdown, SCP-000: Creepy Doll What Lets You Fight Good.

Thoughts?

Re: Creepy Doll What Lets You Fight Good

eric_h 07 Aug 2011 22:00

Well, that picture is going to give me nightmares. Damn, THAT is a creepy doll!

It's a lot better than I would have expected from the concepts. One thing: You have SCP-000-01 and SCP-000-02, and explain them clearly, but what is SCP-000? You mention it at the end, but never actually say what it is.

---

SCP Wiki Senior Citizen Staff | Thank you for testing my new memetic Forum sig

Re: Creepy Doll What Lets You Fight Good

Dexanote 07 Aug 2011 22:00

As far as I know, the SH isn't all about super soldiers, more covert operations and hiding. From the Groups Of Interest page…

The only recorded cases of unprovoked violence by Serpent's Hand members have been against GOC agents.

Perhaps the CI would be slightly more appropriate, seeing as they HAVE been known to use SCP type objects as a means to an end (Such as the Shaving Mirror).

Re: Creepy Doll What Lets You Fight Good

thedeadlymoose 07 Aug 2011 22:24

Good point, Dex. Changed to Chaos Insurgency.

Re: Creepy Doll What Lets You Fight Good

Anaxagoras 07 Aug 2011 21:59

It's a nice picture, if perhaps a little silly. The line

during which SCP-000-02 remains inert besides occasional chewing

is excellent.

But there are some problems. First, and this is more a pet peeve, why should physical abilities increase "exponentially"? Why don't these things ever increase linearly, quadratically, logarithmically, or just not in an manner easily representable by a basic mathematical function? Second, this seems rather out of character for The Serpent's Hand. They're not terribly militant, and even a more aggressive offshoot probably wouldn't be going for "super-soldiers". I think the girl should be SCP-000, and the dolls should be SCP-000-1, rather than there being no SCP-000 at all. There also isn't much of a hook. This is, as the thread title suggests, a Creepy Doll What Lets You Fight Good. But… so what?

Re: Creepy Doll What Lets You Fight Good

thedeadlymoose 07 Aug 2011 23:10

First, and this is more a pet peeve, why should physical abilities increase "exponentially"? Why don't these things ever increase linearly, quadratically, logarithmically, or just not in an manner easily representable by a basic mathematical function?

Since I don't care about making it exponential, changed to an unspecified increase.

I think the girl should be SCP-000, and the dolls should be SCP-000-1, rather than there being no SCP-000 at all.

Changed, for now; I suppose since the girl is the source, there's no reason she shouldn't be the SCP with no extra number.

There also isn't much of a hook. This is, as the thread title suggests, a Creepy Doll What Lets You Fight Good. But… so what?

Hmmmmm. Hard to tell when something will hook someone else, eh? Like your SCP-962 - it was interesting but not amazing until you added the rants, and then it became one of the highest-rated newbie articles on the site.

To me, the hook is the mental imagery of these doll soldiers. But then, my Photoshop isn't that amazing. Perhaps further description… hmmmm.