"Acid Worms" SCP Revision.

Summary:

After a ton of changes and a lot of refinement by A Fat Ghost.

"Acid Worms" SCP Revision.

Veerdin 10 Apr 2011 20:08

Some of you may have read the original and terrible version of my SCP "Acid Worms". Well, I've taken the whole idea down to its roots, butchered it, cleaned up its seams and refined the ever loving shit out of it with the help of A Fat Ghost. And now you, lucky readers, get to behold the result.

Acid Worms: Revised Version

Hope you enjoy, looking for critique on this before I secure it a spot in the archives.

Re: "Acid Worms" SCP Revision.

Drewbear 11 Apr 2011 13:54

Hmm… definitely better than the first copy. May I recommend changing "breaking the matter down into a liquid form which is then devoured" to "breaking down the matter into a liquid slurry, which is then consumed". "Breaking down the matter" flows better to my ear, and consumed seems more clinical than devoured to me.

Also, you need to capitalize "when" in "when a designated prey is nearby".

Finally, you say that the worms can regenerate/repopulate when split, in a manner similiar to what earthworms do. Does this mean that they're just reforming the original mass, or do they generate completely new masses/bodies. I.e. if I chop the original body in half, will it just flow back together and regenerate the destroyed worms, or will it create 2 new half-size bodies, or will it regenerate into 2 new full-size bodies?

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Giving bearhugs to the unsuspecting since 1872.

Re: "Acid Worms" SCP Revision.

Veerdin 11 Apr 2011 15:15

Thanks for the feedback, and chopping a single worm in half will result in the creation of two worms which will then gradually grow back into the full sized versions. Will specify on that.

Re: "Acid Worms" SCP Revision.

Veerdin 11 Apr 2011 15:31

I am considering renaming this SCP as "Acid Worms" seems kind of flat and boring. Possible ideas are:

"Acid Hive"

"Worm Hive"

"Physiomorphic Invertabrates"

"Hyperacidic Superorganism"

I still think these names lack a certain kick, so if anyone has any suggestions, feel free to say them, looking to improve the hell out of this before I secure it a spot.

Re: "Acid Worms" SCP Revision.

thedeadlymoose 12 Apr 2011 20:45

EDIT: Crap, I didn't realize you'd already posted this as SCP-906 and made further edits. Moving feedback there.

Last edited on 12 Apr 2011 23:12 by thedeadlymoose Show more