"GUD-ALIM-ŠE HU-RU GÉME-MAŠ" is Sumerian for "bison-shit idiot female goatherd." I can back this up with sources if need be.
I didn't find this as funny as some of your other work but I enjoyed it enough to give it a narrow upvote.
AK-class Able-Demonstrate-To-You-What-Scaphism-Is-Being scenario
I have to say, I think the joke would parse better and be far funnier if you removed "being".
That aside, this article is hilarious, take your +1, keep up the good work.
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-Js based on popular Series I articles are kind of getting overplayed.
Dissing on Able is also overplayed (mostly in the offsite fandom, given).
That said, I actually cracked up reading the first half of this (especially at the implications that 1) he wrote this himself and 2) not turning himself in is punishable by being yelled at). That said, the humor fell off halfway through and I feel like the intentional bad grammar in places is just too much. So you will not be getting a delicious freshly-baked +1 from me this day.
Also, I googled "scaphism" and I was underwhelmed, 3/10 you tried.
You know, while I personally disagree with the assessment implicit in the act, I have to admit that transcribing SCP-076 word-for-word into a -J was pretty fucking funny. +1
if your reading this your gay
This got me chuckling the whole way through, which is more than I get out of most -J's. The overall content was funny, and the smidgens of engrish made it even better.
+1
Able strong! Able's +1 is too strong for us. It is like a +10,000,000,000 for the little bug people that we are.
Seriously, this is great.