(Yet another) Request for Peer Review

Summary:

Almost finished...

(Yet another) Request for Peer Review

Juvenal 27 Mar 2011 03:04

Link: http://scpsandboxwiki.wikidot.com/juvenal-s-sandbox

I'm aware that I need to add the usual starter code and tweak the formatting a little. Opinions, suggestions and, if necessary, unrestrained criticism are requested on the concept and the execution.

Re: (Yet another) Request for Peer Review

existentialsocks 27 Mar 2011 15:48

A basic few notes:

Containment measures should be Special Containment Procedures. They also seem a little extreme for the danger; the Foundation deals with memetic threats all the time. It says it needs repeated exposure to the rhythm. They could watch through a time delayed feed that a computer analyzes and removes the memetic elements. They could try rotating scientists.

The psychic pull is unnecessary. It should never be just added on to an SCP to make it more dangerous.

The note from O5 should be removed. Threats to demote to D-class/be assigned to Keter duty are overused.

The overall idea isn't bad, but it doesn't really grab me either.

Re: (Yet another) Request for Peer Review

tunedtoadeadchannel 27 Mar 2011 16:35

http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/how-to-write-an-scp

Re: (Yet another) Request for Peer Review

Sorts 27 Mar 2011 17:11

The good: You have a pretty good knack for capturing the tone, taking your subject matter seriously and writing about it like the Foundation would. You used the term memetic correctly to refer to the catchy beat and not the physical influence of the gloves on their wearer.

The bad: There's two terrible cliches welded together in this one that are worse than the sum of their parts. First you've got the old magic item with a terrible price thing, and then you've got over the top memetic crazy to death. Bonus cliche is the nuclear bomb in the containment procedures.

Launch this one into the sun and be done with it sir.

Re: (Yet another) Request for Peer Review

Dr Blank 27 Mar 2011 20:03

I would advise trying to find another vehicle for the idea of a heart rate and arterial fibrillation set to a catchy beat.

Other than that. Sun. Rocket.

Last edited on 27 Mar 2011 20:03 by Dr Blank Show more