Rough Idea

Rough Idea

Dr Blank 18 Mar 2011 01:57

I roughed out an idea and I'm looking for opinions. All are welcome.

http://scpsandboxwiki.wikidot.com/dr-blank

Re: Rough Idea

thedeadlymoose 19 Mar 2011 01:00

I'm new here, so GRAIN OF SALT.

I think this is an interesting idea, and well-written. I don't find it creepy or scary at all, though. Maybe that's a problem, maybe it's not. To quote the how-to-write guide, "If the knowledge this object is in your house doesn't make you jump out the window into the garden a story below, you're probably doing it wrong." On the other hand, there are plenty of SCPs that are just quirky or weird.

So YMMV, but this could be much scarier, and I wish it was.

Last edited on 19 Mar 2011 01:00 by thedeadlymoose Show more

Re: Rough Idea

Sophia Light 19 Mar 2011 01:41

Looks pretty good, as a minor note, I'd say if you're going to reuse terms like "independence" to describe the self-movement of the objects, use them a bit more in context beforehand so we know what they mean. Also, the note at the end that they started hitting the researchers and agent- if you're going to imply that they're sentient, play that up a lot more elsewhere and make it scarier, or just don't. Make it more interesting in some other way.
You could try posting this now but it's your call.

Re: Rough Idea

Dr Blank 19 Mar 2011 02:25

I hope I've addressed your concerns, and I'd appreciate another read-through if you aren't too busy. Several areas have been changed.

Edit: altered even more after initial read-through.

Last edited on 19 Mar 2011 02:38 by Dr Blank Show more

Re: Rough Idea

Dr Blank 19 Mar 2011 20:43

Posted and at the mercy of the masses.

Re: Rough Idea

Dr Blank 27 Mar 2011 04:19

OK, so this SCP did not do as well as I wanted. SCP-620. I liked the central idea, so I'd like to save it. If anyone wants to help me try to rewrite this to salvage it, I'd appreciate it.