Not… really sure what to think about this one…
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That last loggy bit is neat, but overall this is just really bland.
EDIT: Neat, but it occurs to me to wonder. If the full contents of the elevator disappeared every time, why after the fourth or fifth time testing was continued at all. The title of the loggy section leads me to extrapolate that such occurrences are rare, yes?
It's like… a cliched Portal To Elsewhere style SCP, but with the "elsewhere" bit removed and a log added just for kicks. I'm not feeling it.
Regardless, the final note is unnecessary. One naked angry dude is by no means whatsoever call to revise the containment procedures or classification of an SCP object. A solitary nude crazy is probably the most normal thing by far a Foundation agent would encounter in the line of duty.
First of all, I think it would read better if you used the black blocks instead of [DATA EXPUNGED] for the name and location of the hotel. [DATA EXPUNGED] is generally for larger chunks of text.
This sentence is throwing me for a loop: "Exploration of the elevator shaft itself has yielded no useful information as while the shaft does extend to a third sub-basement floor, there are only blank walls at that depth and video cameras placed within the shaft have shown nothing strange when the elevator reaches the bottom." I think it's just saying that investigation of the shaft via exploration and video observation show nothing unusual, so I'm not sure why the sentence is so clunky.
I'd cut out the "as if being called by an unknown source" because I think it is implied and is unnecessary to include.
And in the log, I get a bit confused. From the description I assumed that SCP 636 is the elevator itself, but the language in the log sometimes seems to be referring to the third sub-basement as SCP 636.
And the reason I'm being picky is that I like this idea, and I think it could work. I think it reminds me a bit of the elevator in my old college, which had a mind of its own at times and would go to the wrong floors or open on the wrong side or else just sit there with you in it for ten minutes. Hated that thing.
Oh also, chuck in a photo of an elevator, any elevator. Photos are good.
Okay, so… bad things happen to stuff that goes into the elevator down to the 3rd basement level. That's a good premise, but you're using it as a conclusion for this article. "Random unsettling things occur when the elevator goes to that floor" doesn't give enough information to really be frightening or very interesting. We need details!
Nitpick, but:
"before running back into the elevator car and returning to SCP-636."
I thought the elevator car WAS the SCP? Perhaps "before running back into SCP-636 and returning to sub-basement 3" ?
I want to like this. Really. It's well-written and the log is intriguing. However, it's yet another 'gateway to Dimension X', of which we have many. That said, old elevators in hotels are definitely a solid starting point for an SCP; hell some regular elevators creep people out no end. Maybe making what sub-basement 3 is more concrete (i.e. more than just 'random creepy shit happens here') would help.
Agreed. This feels like a good start, but needs more.
As a pompous ass I feel it is my duty to inform you that this shares some superficial similarities with SCP-567 (I don't think the similarities are a dealbreaker or anything, I just wanted to point it out)
My honor thus defended, I think what you have here is a neat concept that you haven't really developed. You need some kind of implied purpose behind the elevator; the things that have returned are too disjointed and nonsensical. As stated before, it is kind of bland. I would like to see some hint as to the purpose of the elevator or the nature of the other dimension it connects to (or whatever). Withholding vote pending a serious concept improvement.
I think it's a stretch to say these are similar. 567 is a prison that draws people in based on their crimes, and occasionally a monster pops out. This is a random elevator that occasionally dips into nowhere and returns with different stuff.
In fact, the very lack of an implied purpose separates the two. And I don't think there needs to be a purpose. Some of the most frightening things on this site are the arbitrary ones.
Maybe it is an important distinction that one has purpose while the other does not, but without something added, I find this SCP too bland. An implied purpose is just the first thing that popped into my head, I'm sure other additions would work as well if not better.
I suppose my point is that, when finished reading this, I thought "Okay…so what?" It needs something to make it more interesting or frightening.
Welcome to the Hollywood Tower Hotel. Please, step in. Do you see yourself in that mirror? Well wave goodbye. Because it is time to exit the real world and enter… THE TWILIGHT ZONE.
+1
Actually, the complete lack of explanation is what made this one work for me. What goes down the elevator disappears without a trace, so not knowing where it goes makes sense. We don't understand it, and likely never will. End of story. The not knowing is the scary part.
Definitely. If SCP-567 is trying to be creepy, it fails miserably. SCP-567 is like batman, and this is like a serial killer that just kills at random. The lack of purpose makes it scarier because anybody who hasn't committed a 567-qualified crime will just be like "Oh, this thing tortures bad guys, cool" and aren't creeped out. 636 makes you fear elevators no matter who you are.
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page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
